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God has blessed me tremendously with an amazing husband, Doug, and two gorgeous little boys, Gavin and Joey. It has always been a dream of mine to have a large family but God may have other plans. I had a series of 6 consecutive early miscarriages when trying for baby #2. We are currently trying for baby #3 after our 7th miscarriage. I am faithful that God's plan is perfect, even when I am not happy about it. I love comments and meeting new followers so please don't be shy!

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Wednesday, November 30, 2011

WW: If Only In My Dreams

My parents took the trip of a lifetime!  I have been living vicariously through these pictures ever since they returned.  For the next few minutes, sit back, relax, and enjoy this scenic tour of New Zealand.

And then this one... just because it makes me giggle.  I wonder 1) what they guy was saying, and 2) why my parents would choose this as a photo opportunity. 
Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Ready to Hop into the New Year?

I am already getting excited about 2012.  Not only am I really really hoping that the new year will involve a new family member, Doug and I have set a date to go chemical free.  We are already taking small steps now but as the new year is right around the corner it will serve as a great motivator!
Happy Mothering
I am really excited that I am going to be participating in a Blog Hop in January that is celebrating just this!  The lovely ladies from Happy Mothering, Mama Chocolate, and Purposeful Homemaking are hosting this awesome hop and I am excited to participate! 

If you are a blogger and wish to join in the fun, learn how to join here.  The more the merrier! 

Have you considered going chemical free?  Do you ever wonder about the effects the chemicals have on our bodies and our fertility? 

Long, Sleepless, Wonderful Night

The last couple of days Joey has been fighting off a cold.  He has been a trooper!  Last night, the congestion won the battle.  He would doze off for a while, wake up, cough, cry, doze off.  This would happen every 30-40 minutes.  Almost like a rapidly progressing labor, the rest times were decreasing and the coughing and crying was lasting longer and getting more intense.  Then at about, 12:30 am Joey should have been giving birth to a snot baby.  Unfortunatly, there was no relief for him or me. 

Rather than no one in the house getting any sleep, I took Joey downstairs.  I figured that I could cuddle with Joey in the recliner and maybe his head being slightly elevated would help him sleep.  I took down blankets, Joey's lovey Mr. Moo, and my very confused, very tired Joseph.  I covered us both up and tried to get comfortable.  I was so exhausted that I was pretty sure I was going to be able to sleep even if I was upside down.  After about 5 minutes I was reevaluating my previous sleep expectations.  Having a 30 something pound kid squirming, lifting and dropping his head repeatedly too close to my face or on my collarbone, and coughing and sneezing mere millimeters from my face, was proving to be a tougher sleeping situation than I had counted on. 

So I layed there in the chair as Joey would momentarily doze off, this time tear free, planning my trip to Starbucks in the morning.  I then wondered what time they actually opened.  Just as I thought I might be able to close my eyes, Joey repositioned himself so that he was facing me and put his face on my chest.  All of the sudden, I didn't care that I wasn't going to get any sleep.  I was loving being a very much needed mommy again.  I missed nursing him all night long a whole year ago now.  I missed feeling his warmth, in the dark, in the quiet house with only hums and clicks that are unique to our old house.  It isn't like I didn't love him like crazy before but last night, I fell a little more in love with him. 

I started having visions of him being all grown up and not needing his mom to hold him in a rocking chair.  I imagined that he would one day be a father himself.  That would mean that he would meet a woman of his dreams and she would love my son as much as I do.  I can't imagine that anyone will ever be able to love him like I do, but right now, somewhere in this world, there is a little baby girl curled up in her mommy's arms who was created to love my son. 

As I choked back the tears of sheer bliss, I couldn't help but start thinking about how I long to do this all over again.  The long nights of no sleep, quiet thoughts, stroking the baby's soft head, and stealing silent kisses.  I think that God knows what he is doing.  When my night was starting off so rough, I was slightly irritated and grouchy at the thought of no sleep.  After the cuddles and feeling his heart beating as he laid on my chest, really has rejuvenated me and my faith that God has another baby (or two!) for me.  

Interestingly enough, after about 60 minutes of snuggling and intermittent dozing off, I realized that Joey would probably sleep better in his own bed if he could be a little more elevated.  So I put some throw pillows under his regular pillow and tucked him in.  I walked into my bedroom, crawled under the covers, and in a few minutes both Joey and I were in a very sweet and happy dream land.  Morning came early today but when I went in to get Joey, it was like he heard every single thought I had last night.  As I was changing his diaper, he reached up for me.  I leaned down to give him a little kiss on his cheek and for the first time ever, he gave me a real, unsolicited, hug.  The kind where there is actual squeezing.  He held tight to my shoulders for about 10 seconds.  When I reluctantly stood up, I saw his warm smile and puffy sleepy eyes looking into my heart.  That was all the caffeine I needed to get me through the day.  Well... that and a Iced Grande Triple Skinny Caramel Macchiatto. 

Monday, November 28, 2011

Buh-Bye Binky

Originally posted on March, 10, 2011 
While I rarely follow the celebrity gossip... okay... maybe a little... I saw that there was some controversy regarding Tom Cruise's daughter, at 5 years old, photographed with a pacifier in her mouth. I had been meaning to share our pacifier story so... maybe Suri Cruise will benefit as well.

Most people agree that there is an age when using a pacifier is no longer socially acceptable, the jury still seems to be out on when that actually is. Gavin used a pacifier (called a "binky" at our house) when he was an infant. Starting at about a year old he never really needed it during the day and was perfectly content with only using it at nap time and bed time. So, we did have it a bit easier than many parents out there. But when I say he was attached to it during sleep times would be an understatement. He HAD to have his binky or there was not going to be any sleep for anyone. When Gavin was about 2 1/2, I noticed that his favorite (and only) binky was really needing to be replaced. But, because he was so attached to not just his binky, he was attached to the orange binky with the yellow handle. So rather than go on a mission to find an identical match for a replacement, the decision was made. It was time to say good-bye to the binky.

Again, Gavin loved his binky. If it ever dared get lost in his covers in the middle of the night, Gavin would wake up screaming bloody murder. "I NEED my BINKY!!! MOOOOOOOOM!" Followed shortly thereafter by the tears of a terrified little boy. So, we knew that just taking the Binky one night was not going to work. We started talking about how it was going to be time to say good bye to the binky soon. Gavin, was okay with the idea but when it came time to put those ideas into action, thus began the freak-out if the century.

Doug and I talked about how we could do this without emotional upheaval. We were ready to just let him keep it (find the orange binky replacement) when I read this idea on a message board. It was ingenious! I can not claim it as my own but thought it would be worth passing on because most of us will one day face the issue of saying, "Buh-bye, binky."

We told him on the big day that he was going to go to a store where he was going to pick out his very own teddy bear. We told him that his "Bink" would get to live inside of the bear and he was just going to LOVE it. We talked it up all morning. The ride in the car was of nothing other than what we were doing. We talked about picking the bear, watching the bear get stuffed, and picking out clothes for the bear. When we got to the store we stayed as animated and excited as two adults can be inside a Build-A-Bear Workshop.

I subtly meandered to the counter to ensure that stuffing the binky in the bear was going going to be okay. I asked the woman behind the counter, "Is it okay if we put something in the bear before it is stuffed?"

"It depends on what it is." She said quizzically.

I fought back the urge to ask her what types of things would not be allowed to be stuffed in a bear. Perhaps a gun? Maybe I was hoping to have them help me smuggle some drugs? Maybe an used hypodermic needle was what I had in mind?

I told her about wanting to put the binky in the bear and she had no problem with it. Thank goodness, or else we were going to have to go back to the drawing board. Gavin picked out the bear he wanted and we took it to the lady at the stuffing station. We showed her the binky tucked into a sandwich bag. I figured that no one wanted to touch some other kids nasty old binky. She thought it would be a good idea to lead it in the bag so that he could actually hear it inside the bear as well as feel it. So in it went. No turning back now. We picked out the clothes and made a certificate for the bear. He is officially named, "Bink." We took him home and dressed him up.

That night, Doug and I held our breath as he crawled into bed that night without a binky in his mouth. He slept. No tears. No wanting a binky. He had Bink the Bear now. I figured that in a day or two the novelty of the bear might wear off but that was 7 months ago. It was the easiest transition I could have ever dreamed of. He didn't even care when Joey started using a binky. It did cost us about 30 dollars but it was worth every penny.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Infertility is the Groundhog Day of My Lady Parts

If you have seen the movie, Groundhog Day with Bill Murray then you have seen the 1 1/2 hour movie version of my efforts to try to conceive my third baby.  Bill Murray's character is stunned and surprised when he wakes up and realizes that he is reliving the previous day.  When he goes to sleep again he is sure that when he wakes up the next day it will be different.  Nope.  Same exact day.  After a few more days, the anger and frustration makes way for just annoyance and his efforts to change the outcome.  Then after all of his efforts fail, he just goes through the motions of each day.

Yep.  That has been my year.  The only difference has been that my Groundhog Day lasts about 26 days.  I went through months of anger and frustration.  I then went through my months of trying everything I could in my bag of tricks to make this time different.  Now, I'm just going through the motions.  Another cycle is behind me and this time, I wasn't sad.  I didn't cry.  It was like I just knew my temperature would drop and I would start the whole cycle again.  Just like I had for the previous 17 cycles.  It is like I watched the clock turn to 6:00 am.  Eh.  Did I really think that this would be the time that the alarm wouldn't start blaring 'I Got You Babe'?  Nope.

So, I'm not done trying.  I'm not ready to quit.  Just patiently waiting for Punxsutawney Phil to show his ugly mug and tell me when this season is going to change already.

I guess I should also admit that I haven't actually started my period but today my temperature dropped not just below my coverline but below all of my pre-ovulation temps.   For those of you who don't chart, that is like when the credits roll at the end of a movie.  If you stick around to watch them you might get to see a few more funny scenes, outtakes or something but no matter how long you sit in the theater, the movie is over.  My cycle is over.  As if my temperature dropping didn't make it evident enough, I had the most miserable cramps this morning.  Between the pressure headaches and grouchy hormonal outbursts I managed to throw together a quick batch of PMS Tea.  It will work best when started a few days before your period but, considering it looks like the witch is showing up 3 days early today was going to have to suffice.

Thankfully the recipe is short and sweet.  It is 2 parts Nettle, 1 part Lemon Balm, and 1 part Lemon Verbena.  I mixed them all well and put them in a tea ball and poured boiling water over it.  I let it steep for about 20 minutes.  The taste is somewhat earthy but not unpleasant.  I chose to add some honey and it made it quite tasty.  I drank the first cup hot but am enjoying the second cup chilled and unsweetened.  It is actually very good cold.  I realize that it is almost winter time for most of us but I can totally see this looking and tasting lovely in a nice glass pitcher with a sprig or two of mint!

If you are interested in a natural way to manage the symptoms of premenstrual syndrome, our PMS Tea is now available.  If you would rather mix it and make yourself, we also carry the individual ingredients.

Here's to hoping that in about 26 days I have an opportunity to share our BFP Tea.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Small Business Saturday

I know it is only Wednesday but I really wanted to tell you about some amazing small businesses I have come across over the last year.  When we really sit and think about the money we spend for Christmas gifts and decorations, how much of our money is being spent at the huge chain stores like WalMart or Target?  I know it takes a bit more time to look for small businesses to patronize but when a mom, dad or young person gets a sale it can make their day, pay their overdue bills, and help them in unimaginable ways.  Buying a similar item at a chain store doesn't change the cashiers life one bit.  We will still keep those cashiers employed because we will still buy electronics, books, movies, etc. from them.  But the specialty items... I think we should spend a few more minutes to try to help out the "real" people.

So let me share with you just some of the many small businesses I have taken a liking to and I think you will too. 

The first one is called Simply Darling Designs by Ciera.  There is actually a cute little story that goes along with this one.  One of my dearest friends from long long ago is the Aunt to this young lady, Ciera.  Because the last time I saw Ciera, she was a young, adorable 7 year old with the most striking eyes and charming smile, she is forever frozen in my mind as that young girl.  Turns out, as I have aged, so has the rest of the world.  She is now a stunning young woman who had a real talent for crafting and creating.  Her business is very new and she is working through a facebook page for orders and photos.  She is a sweet girl and I think you will really enjoy her adorable onsies, headbands, and more!  Click the photo below to go to her page!

This small business was started by a mom in her kitchen, the old fashioned way!  Devilishly Delicious Dips mixed her own seasonings together to make fantastic rubs, dip mixes and more!  So many of her mixes make my mouth water.  These will be perfect for those of you attending or hosting holiday get togethers or Super Bowl parties!  Want to wow them with an appetizer?  Try mixing a dip packet with cream cheese and making a scrumptious cheese ball!  Making mashed potatoes?  Throw in a savory dip and you have a whole new tasty twist!  Click on the photo below to go to her website and discover all of the possibilities!

Courage and Curls Crafts  is where Audrey showcases her lovely handmade jewelry is delicate and so feminine.  I love each and every piece!  She is an awesome woman with a story of such courage that she is always amazing me, encouraging me, and inspiring me.  Her jewelry does the same!  I am sure that there are a few people on your shopping list this year that would appreciate the handmade jewelry over the store bought, mass produced stuff.  Stop by clicking the picture below and see all of her stunning work!

 I can't even begin to tell you how much I love the work of Becoming Homegrown!  I came across this awesome store during the Green Christmas Blog Hop and now have a blossoming love affair with the hats that she makes!  I can't wait to buy two of these for my boys!  The only problem is deciding!  After much debate, I think I am going with the owl hats but the skunk, sock monkey and aviator hats are so cute too!  Stop by her adorable Etsy shop and start shopping for the little ones in your life or the ones that will be!  Click below and see the adorable designs.  

Then there is this one other small business that is near and dear to my heart!  You may have heard of it.  It is called Chapter One Herbs.  (Insert shy smile)  If you haven't stopped by to see what we have over there, you should!  We now carry 5 new teas!  One that is great for children who have a case of the sniffles!  It can help chase those cold germs away in a healthy, all natural way!  We also have an adult version should be used at the first sign of a cold or the flu!  We also have a tea specifically designed for pregnancy called BFP Tea, one for those nasty PMS symptoms, and one for those men in our lives called Excite for Men!  Also browse our new essential oil options!  
Do you have a small business?  Drop me an email and I will try to feature you during this holiday season! 
Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Perfect Song!

Monday, November 21, 2011

Everything I Touched... turned to crap.  Have you ever had days like this?  Days where seriously everything you try to do ends up wrong, broken, and leaves you with tears in your eyes.  Yeah.  That was my day.

It started off great.  Doug is off this week and his mom came over to watch the boys while we ran some errands and did some Christmas shopping for the boys.  We stopped and got some Starbucks on the way home and life was good!  Then with my caffeine buzz I started doing a bunch of cleaning and organizing.  We had rearranged the furniture this weekend and it sort of launched me into a cleaning frenzy.  I have been going room by room and cleaning it top to bottom.  Today I moved to the second floor.

I have a habit of putting things on the stairs that should be taken upstairs.  It seems like a great idea since I go up those stairs at least as many times as I go down them.  Somehow I manage to walk right past whatever item I put there.  Then, the item turns into two.  Then three.  Then a small pile.  Then... well... It was time to take some stuff upstairs.  After I moved everything I decided I needed to vacuum the stairs and hallway.  As I was using the hose attachment to catch a cob web or two the vacuum suddenly became silent.  I checked the outlet.  It was still plugged in.  There was no smell indicating a motor died.  I thought maybe I bumped the power button.  Nope.  Just broken.  My 2 month old vacuum just kicked the bucket.

So, I took a deep breath and walked back downstairs.  I took Joey up for his nap, and plopped down on the couch with my laptop.  At that moment, I don't know why, Doug asked me about one of the errands we had run that morning.  I had boxed up an order made from Chapter One Herbs and we mailed it.  Turns out I sent them half of what we were supposed to.  Another deep breathe and this time a little bit of rubbing my eyes and face and I thought, "Okay.  So we just need to send one more package.  It is still plenty early so we can get it there!  Thankfully Doug say he would take it.  He is so sweet!  (Hi Honey!)

While he was gone I decided that I would work on a crafty decorating idea I had wanted to do for a while now from via Amanda on Pinterest.  I bought all of the stuff I would need over the weekend.  So as I am getting everything ready, I can't find the most important piece, the curtain rod.  I looked everywhere.  I remembered bringing it in the house.  I remember where I set it.  But I had no idea where it went after that.  Considering our house hasn't been cleaner or more organized in months I was completely irritated that I could find the stupid thing.  Finally it turns up and I am ready to pour myself into the project.  The project that looked so cute, so perfect, and so completely easy looked nothing like what I saw on Pinterest.  By the way, follow me and I'll follow you back!  I'll share a picture of it but I am not happy with it and I will be working on making it look they way I had planned it to.  Since I needed to print the pictures for the project, I got out the photo printer (that I admittedly haven't gotten out in years), plugged it in, and the stupid thing just blinked at me.  It didn't do anything.  Just blinked.  Doug came home and got the printer to actually turn on.  Then as soon as I touched the thing it froze up.  So I unplugged it to start over.  Guess what it did.  It blinked.  This is when I cried.   So here is my crooked, printed on paper picture frames (just the bottom ones) hung on a cool curtain rod.  Nice work huh?
I tried to fix the frames so that they hung straighter.  My first idea didn't work.  My second didn't either.  My third idea cracked the frames and still didn't work. 

Seriously.  Everything turned to crap today!  It can only get better, right? 
Sunday, November 20, 2011

Dear Pregnant Lady

Originally posted  7/18/11
One of the toughest things to manage is hearing someone else announce a pregnancy when dealing with your own loss(es) or infertility. Whether it is a unexpected announcement or learning that your friend who was trying had success, it always stings. Their words are, "Guess what?! We are pregnant! Due in March!" The words you hear in your head are, "Oh God, no! Here it comes. Come on fake smile. Go away hormonal tear in the corner of my eye! Oh crap. They are pregnant. Wow. It took them what 2 months?! The next 9 months are going to suck. Suck. Really. Bad." It is one thing to hear someones news of pregnancy on Facebook where you can block them from your news feed for the next 10 months, but what happens when it is someone you will be seeing on a routine basis, talking on the phone with, or forced to share a workspace with?

So after contemplating finding a new job, faking a highly contagious illness that could harm any fetus within a 3 mile radius, and relocating to a remote corner of the world, you realize that the only way to get through this is going to be to fake it as best you can. You know you will cry in the car on the way home, for 6 minutes after you are off the phone, or to the one close friend who knows your journey and can understand your pain. There is one other option. Maybe helping them understand your feelings will help everyone co-exist during a pregnancy. This is my attempt to explain how I feel.

Dear Pregnant Lady,

I want to say that I am happy for you that you are growing a baby in your belly. It is an amazing journey. One that I have been wanting for myself. I want to be happy for you, but right now I am just sad that it isn't me. I want to say congratulations. I do. But the words are getting caught up in my throat because my emotional tears are stronger than my ability to speak.

I am anticipating how you will be going through some incredible and miraculous changes and the only miraculous changes I seem to be able to have my body do is digest lunch and deliver a poop semi regularly. I know that in a few more weeks you will be feeling the first kicks and while I am sure you will be surprised and excited to share that special moment with everyone, please don't offer to let me feel it. It will only remind me of what I am not feeling inside of my own stomach.

When you are making your invite list for your baby shower, include me in it. But, please don't be offended if I don't come. I may manage to come and oooh and aaah at all of the cute outfits, but I may also bring a little bit of jealousy. I may need to escape to a bathroom and claim to be having digestive issues. I won't be pooping. I'll be crying and likely changing my tampon.

You might want to share some words of encouragement about a friend, aunt, or sister who struggled and then had their happy healthy baby. I know you mean well, but I just wish that I could be on this pregnancy journey right now too. No matter how many millions of other women who struggled to get pregnant or stay pregnant and then had success, it still doesn't put a baby in my womb today, like you have.

I want you to know that my seeming disinterest in your pregnancy isn't because I don't care about you. It is because I
do care about you. I am just trying to cope the only way I can, and don't want you to feel anything but joyous and happy in your pregnancy.

My feelings may change at some point in the future. Probably at about the exact moment that I have two pink lines and a heartbeat to go along with it, but for now, I appreciate your thoughts and prayers as mine will be with you and your baby on the way as well.

My Empty Uterus

Friday, November 18, 2011

Can I get pregnant if he puts it in my ear? (Part 2)

These are all questions about trying to conceive posed in the last 2-3 days.  I did not edit them at all.  I didn't want to insult the integrity of their questions. 

Any pregnancy chances for this month?

Last period was Oct 19th. Have a 30-31 day cycle

Had sex Oct 25-26-27-28-31 and Nov 1-4-5-6-9-10-13
Sheesh!  You must be unmarried, newlyweds, or you are a bunny rabbit.  

Why do people say its selfish?

I'm 15 years old and want to have a baby very badly. My boyfriend thinks that its selfish that I want on at such a young age. I just want something for me to love and have all the time.. He says that I have him.. But I only see him on the weekends. I understand that it could be hard to raise a baby.. But its something I want.. I'm trying to overcome this want for my boyfriend.. But I feel like trying isn't enough for him.. He still thinks I'm crazy and selfish.. Do you think its selfish? And why?

My boyfriend has a full time time job and makes 10 dollars an hour. I'm looking for a job right now. ITS NOT SELFISH ITS THE NEED FOR LOVE! So what if I'm still in school? My mom was a teen mom and graduated! My grandmother was a teen mom and graduated! So does that mean every woman who wants a baby is selfish? And, I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year and a half...
If graduating is your definition of success then you will be fine.  

Help pls???

Well I been tryna get preqnant fo a year now but my gf wont let meh shes 34 im 21 I love her so much everytyme I go to sleep ive dream abt been a new mommy or been pregnant the dream seem true . I wanna kno wat can I do to makee it happen .
I'm just confused.  So confused!  You want to be a new mommy so you are trying to get your "gf" pregnant?    Two girls cannot make a baby.  Perhaps your "gf" knows this????

Stopping sex

How much time one should stop sex before conceiving, so that a healthy child is produced?
Stopping before conception means that there is no baby made.  Gotta do the baby dance to make the baby!

Advice pls!!! Help!

what does it mean when your boy friend randomly was thinkin about how you would look pegnant.......? my boy friend randomly was thinking how i would look pregnant and he told me he thought i would be a cute pregnant girl.......i know what his saying but what is he implying.does he want me to be prgnant or something in that nature like why would he randomly be thinking about that
I'm randomly thinking about how you would look with a chastity belt.  What do you think that means?

Can she be pregnant? can sperm go through 4 layers of clothes?

The other day, me and my girlfriend were hugging and kissing and sorta laying on top of each other. When I was above her, I unexpectedly climaxed, and quickly got up and went to the restroom. When I checked, I saw a wet stop the size of a halfdollar or so on my shorts. My question is, can she be pregnant by this? We had 4 layers of clothes between us, and I'm really freaking out.
Half dollar is okay but a buffalo nickle is a recipe for disaster.

Is it supposed to whistle?

When I urinate it seems that enough air passes through such that there is a very loud whistle. I can no longer urinate in public, is this supposed to happen?
I have no words for the whistling pee pee.  That is just messed up!

After you wipe the tears from your eyes please leave me a comment!  What was your favorite?  Which did you find to be the most problematic or perplexing?   

If you didn't get a chance to see Parts 1 , 3 , 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8
Thursday, November 17, 2011

Doctors Are People Too

Original post date was 2/7/11
There was a time when I would go to a doctor when I had a health problem and I would just follow their instructions because, well, they are the doctors. They have letters after their name that is supposed to tell me that they know more than me, right? In the past few years I have changed my thinking on this.

I started charting my cycles when I wanted to conceive my first baby. Within a few weeks I really learned how amazing our bodies are and how much they really tell us on a day to day basis. When I got pregnant, I stopped charting (as anyone who charts will tell you to do once you get your positive pregnancy test) until a couple of months after I got my cycles back. Much to my surprise, I had another positive home pregnancy test with my first chart! When I went to the Emergency Room due to the spotting that had really turned more into bleeding, the doctor told me that I was 6 weeks pregnant. I told him that according to my ovulation, I should be about 6 weeks and 3 days. I know that measuring 3 days off on an early ultrasound is not cause for alarm but I thought it was worth mentioning. The doctor gave me a quick grin and told me that I couldn't really know when I ovulated. I told him that I had been charting and I did know when I ovulated according to my temperature, fertility signs, and ovulation pains that happen (for me) a couple of days leading up to my ovulation. He said, "Oh. Okay." in a way that clearly told me that he didn't believe me but wasn't going to debate it.

After my second loss I went in to see my doctor. I asked my OB about using Welcome Womb herbs to prevent miscarriage she dismissed my idea without further consideration. She did give me some line about how herbs aren't FDA regulated and therefore shouldn't be used since there haven't been studies (with government oversight) to determine what they actually do. So, her plan of action was going to be to run some tests when I got pregnant again, meaning beta hcg and progesterone. As most of you know, and I know now, running those tests doesn't keep anyone pregnant. The progesterone may be able to be improved if it is low but that wasn't going to tell me anything. Well, despite having doubling (just barely) hcg numbers and progesterone within normal limits, that pregnancy was lost as well.

After several more months of charts under my belt, and a couple more losses, I went to my OB armed with questions. I wanted to know why I was losing the pregnancies. This was the first time that when I wasn't satisfied with an answer, I continued to ask for more clarification, explanation, and information. After a few questions where my doctor couldn't answer to my satisfaction, she finally was willing to admit that she didn't know the answer. That was a major turning point in my relationship with my doctor. In a good way. Now, my doctor was nothing more that a woman a few years older than me who read some books in college that taught her what she knows. She and I just read different books. We began working together to figure out how to proceed. It was no longer me just nodding and wondering what I was going to do next. We were a team. A team that decided it was time to go to a specialist. A Reproductive Endocrinologist. With a name like that, I had to get some answers!

Well, I didn't. But again, I asked my questions and didn't stop until I was satisfied with his answers. I like Dr. Mooney, a lot, because he really took his time to talk, explain, and clarify and didn't seem to get a bruised ego if I questioned his opinions. Again, I developed a great relationship with my doctor because I refused to think of him as anything other than a guy who read different books than me.

I don't want anyone to think that I am not appreciative of doctors. I have a lot of respect for them since, I am sure, medical school isn't a piece of cake. I just wish that more people could recognize that doctors, while highly educated and skilled, are really just people. They lose their car keys, misplace their television remote, and burn dinner. They probably have cried themselves to sleep once. They have probably been an a car accident that was their own fault. I remind myself of this every time I walk into a doctor's office. I can't be intimidated by them and I can't assume they have all of the answers. I need to be able to communicate with them so that, together, we can solve whatever problem we have using both of our brains.

When I decided, with Dr. Mooney's knowledge and blessing, to try the Welcome Womb and went on to have a happy and healthy pregnancy, I couldn't help but wonder that if I hadn't just gracefully accepted my OB's opinion on herbs, if my whole life would have been different. I know that everything happens for a reason and that if I had tried the herbs and they had worked, I wouldn't have my dear sweet Joseph who is worth everything I went through. Still makes me wonder though.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Wordless Wednesday- Wise Words

I wish I was wise enough to claim these words as my own, but I am not.  These words were written by Megan on her blog here.  Thanks Megan!  I needed this!
Monday, November 14, 2011

Welcome Womb- Brie's Story

Our story really begins way back in 2006.  My husband and I had recently started using Natural Family Planning (NFP) as we had recently realized some things about birth control that caused us some concern.  We were married fairly young and weren't quite ready to begin having children.  Shortly after starting NFP we found out we were pregnant, which was very exciting - and unexpected.  We ended up miscarrying that baby when we were just under 8 weeks along.  While still using NFP we conceived and miscarried two more babies that year. 

I was put on progesterone and in April of 2007 I became pregnant again and was able to carry this baby to term and deliver a beautiful, healthy little girl.  We thought we had found the solution to our miscarriages with the progesterone.  We waited until our little one was 18 mo. old and began trying again.  We conceived quickly and easily but within a week we had miscarried that baby.  We spent the next year trying to conceive again and then when all hope had run out - we conceived again!  Still taking progesterone, it was almost another week when we lost that baby as well.  It took another year of trying and once again - when we were at the end of our rope - we were pregnant.  This time taking baby aspirin, and receiving progesterone shots (as opposed to pills).  But after just a week, all my hormone levels had dropped and baby was gone shortly after. 

I had been sharing my journey on my blog, and a friend of mine directed me to Maria's blog where I was so thrilled to find someone who could finally understand all that we had gone through.  There is nothing worse than feeling like you just don't fit.  Although my friends were very supportive and encouraging, few of them had experienced a miscarriage, and none (that I knew of) had experienced multiple miscarriages.  

I ate up Maria's site!  I read every inch and it was in her story that I first heard Welcome Womb mentioned.  She had definitely piqued my interest, so I started doing some research.  However, at this point, I was much less concerned with carrying a child as I was with conceiving since I was sure we had another year of trying before I'd be pregnant again. 

What I found out about Welcome Womb was encouraging, and I asked Maria about a dozen questions! 

It was just a month and a half after miscarrying my 6th baby that I discovered (rather unexpectedly) that I was pregnant, again.  I would be lying if I told you I was excited, I prepared myself for the absolute worst.  I just wasn't emotionally ready to lose another baby. But I acknowledged my pregnancy, called the dr's office right away, asked if they had anything else I could try to keep this baby.  They had nothing.  Literally, nothing.  So, I told them I was going to take Welcome Womb - and the nurse suggested I not.  But I cried, told her I had little other options at this point - and she said that she understood. 

I ordered the tincture and had it shipped overnight.  I spotted that night, and was a little nervous - but the Welcome Womb arrived the next morning and I began taking it regularly.  I haven't spotted since!  My friends prayed and prayed, supported and loved me through the first few weeks.  As each week passed I was more and more shocked that I was still pregnant!  My Hcg levels were amazing, when I asked the nurse my jaw almost fell to the floor.  I was shocked!   We went in for our first ultrasound that showed a yolk sac, then a week and a half later we had another one that showed a tiny little heartbeat, and two weeks later we saw our little one moving around with a beautiful beating heart.  And at my most recent appointment with my midwife, we were blessed to be able to hear a tiny heartbeat with the doppler. 

I told my midwife I had been taking Welcome Womb, she asked what was in it - and then she said "Can you bring it with you next time?  I'd like to tell women about it, if it really works."  I was so surprised, I really thought she might think I was nuts! 

So, as I approach 12 weeks on Sunday, and if the unending crying of this afternoon is any indication, my hormone levels are continuing to rise...  I have to say, that I don't know if this baby is just lucky, like my daughter, or if the Welcome Womb did the trick.  But, I do know that I do not regret taking the WW.  I'm so glad I gagged it down...and in May I very much so look forward to welcoming another child into our home!  

Congratulations to you, Brie!  Thank you so much for sharing your story with us!  Love and prayers for you and your whole family as you welcome the newest addition in May!  

If you are interested in learning more about the ingredients of Welcome Womb, click on the links.
False Unicorn Root, Wild Yam, and Black Haw
Sunday, November 13, 2011

Can I get pregnant if he puts it in my ear?


These are all questions about trying to conceive posed in the last 2-3 days.  I did not edit them at all.  I didn't want to insult the integrity of their questions.

Ok this may sound stupid but my period is 3 days late today and I did not have sex all we did was fool around ?With clothes on, hpt is negative but I'm scared pls help!!!!

Sad thing is that based on the last year, her chances of pregnancy are just as good as mine.

I am 26 days late and i took 3 tests all positive am i pregnant i have nausea and back pain ?
Ummmm... Seriously?  This kind of thing makes me cringe and makes me a little jealous at the same time.

Can pre-mature sperm get you pregnant?
So can immature ones.  Please wait to have kids.

Should a 16 year old girl be having sex with a 21 year old male? We have been humping and grinding the last hour and want to move on, but is it right,
So let me understand this... you have been "humping and grinding" for an hour and you decided to pause, grab a glass of water, and ask the virtual world about if you can have permission to go all the way?  The answer is NO!  Didja listen?

Me and my boyfriend don't get to see eachother much, so we can't try regularly. Is there any good timing i should know about? I dont know much about ovulation and stuff but i guess im asking for a simple many weeks/days after or before period bleeding? And is it true that certain positions help and what not???
 Why do people try to have babies before they are married?  How often does this really end well?  But beyond that, "a simple answer?"  Uhhhh... Chances are that because you aren't married, young, and not thinking beyond next week, you will get pregnant really quickly.  That seems to be how it works most of the time.  If you are very short sighted, pregnancy will take place almost at about the moment you decided to try.  Plan ahead?  Be responsible?  Be patient.

Me and my husband have been trying for 3 years then found out he had no sperm at all it's totally heartbroken me and my husband we cannot afford sperm donor and would be great full for a free one, husband is black so please help
I totally laughed out loud at this one.  What!?  My favorite part is the last line.   It sounds like she is saying that she needs help because her husband is black.

Possible "intercourse" date (didn't penetrate, didn't ejaculate, but was near the area): Sept 8th
Period: Sept 12th
HCG Blood Test #1: Sept 26th - Neg
HCG Blood Test #2: Oct 17th - Neg
Period: Oct 17th

Is it possible that the HCG levels weren't high enough to register a positive pregnancy? I have one light, short period, and one normal period since then. But I am not sure if these were "periods" or "pregnancy bleedings".
Maybe infertility has made me insensitive.  But, if having a man "near the area" could result in a pregnancy then there would have to be a Maury Povich Network 24 hours a day of "Who's the Daddy?" episodes.  Plus, I have been known to take a pregnancy test once or twice after my period has shown up but after two negative blood tests and two periods since the having a fella in the vicinity of your baby maker, it is time to move on.

Now check out part 2 , 3 , 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8!  Each one is better than the last!  

Saturday, November 12, 2011

It Isn't Always About Me

 I'm back to my old post revivals.  I would love your comments, thoughts, and impressions!
Originally posted 1/10/11
I was beginning to really think long and hard about my life as a mother. I always pictured me with several children and here I was with one. One fantastic child but... one. I wasn't ready to throw in the towel just yet on my dreams of a large family but I had to decide how we were going to get there. I looked at various sites about adoption and read message board experiences with adopting and was starting to think that was the direction to go. Then, I came across a site that really spoiled my attitude about that plan. I don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings that choose or have chosen adoption. These are just my thoughts.

I was learning that the wait for adopting a newborn would be as long as or longer than a pregnancy. Learning this made me eager to sign up right away so that I wouldn't have to wait any longer than necessary to add to my family. Then, as I was surfing the net for agencies, attorneys I came across a page that listed babies that were available for adoption. Now. I read through the list that listed their info like male or female, open or closed adoption, locations, races, and if the birth mother was known to have used or is currently using drugs or alcohol. Then in the last column was the prices. All of the sudden it hit me. I was shopping online for a baby. Some were on sale (my words not theirs) due to maternal drug use, or other known or suspected medical issues. Some were more expensive because they were presumed to be healthy or the mother was expecting the adoptive parents to pay rent and or medical bills. I just couldn't believe that I would ever be able to chose a baby based on price or race or whatever other criterion I found to be of importance. I wanted God to choose for me and I wasn't sure how that would happen with adoption. I decided to table the adoption decision for a while until we got the results form our genetic testing back.

During the wait I did my share of "why me" questioning. I wanted to know what was wrong with me. Why did other women who weren't married, on drugs, already proven to be horrible parents, etc. get pregnant, often without "trying", and end up with a beautiful baby in their arms 9 months later? Here I was, a healthy, loving mother and wife who wanted nothing more than to conceive and keep a pregnancy that actually resulted in a live, screaming, crying baby. Then my husband said this. "Sometimes we have to realize that it isn't always about us."

At first I thought, "Are you kidding me? How is me miscarrying 6 times in a row not about us?!"

He went on to explain his thought. While I can't recall his exact wording the message was this. God is the one calling the shots. His plan for us may not have anything to do with us ending up with a second child or not. It could have everything to do with how our experience will somehow effect someone else's life.

I took that little nugget of thought with me as I went about my day to day activities. I really tried to focus more on how Doug's comments could really be true. I was shopping at Walmart for odds and ends but the primary reason for my trip was that I wanted to buy ovulation tests. Since I was there I picked up some groceries that we needed too. As I walked down an isle glancing at various dinner options I happened to notice a woman a few paces ahead of me. I then saw that she had dropped her grocery list. While I was lost in my thoughts most of the day, I took a moment to pick up the list, speed up a step or two, and ask her if she dropped her list. She looked at me and then at the list. She quickly gave an exhale of relief and thanked me profusely. A few seconds of small talk and a couple more smiles and we were both on our ways. Then I thought about it. "Maybe it isn't always about me." I know that I will never know that woman's story but I began to think about her. Perhaps, my interaction with her was just what she needed that day. Maybe she was depressed and feeling invisible. Maybe she wasn't. Maybe there was something very important on that list that she would have forgotten had I not been there to pick it up and retrieve it. Maybe that one item being forgotten could have changed her life. I know it sounds crazy since there are a million and a half "what ifs" but I needed to do this. Maybe the item she forgot would have made her go back out to the store again later and she would have been killed in a car accident. So, maybe, just maybe, my going to Walmart to buy ovulation tests saved that woman's life. If any of my pregnancies would have been successful I wouldn't have needed those tests and that interaction never would have taken place.

It may sound ridiculous to some but this is how I managed to lift the haze of my recurrent miscarriages. As I moved throughout my daily life I challenged myself, and still do, to interact with as many people as I can since I don't know who God intends me to meet or share my faith with. I find it to be really quite reassuring that my losses weren't for nothing. They could very well be about me deciding to write about my experiences today to impact one of you.

While it is so very tempting to think that God had me miscarry to teach me something, tell me something, or lead me somewhere, I have chosen to see it as God needing me to help him do something. I may never know what that something is but, wow, what an important job I have. I am so blessed.

I am so thankful that Doug shared his thoughts with me that day. His comment has really changed how I view my life, my relationship with God, and my purpose here on Earth.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Green Christmas Giveaway Hop: Teas and Steeping Mug

Welcome to the first annual Green Christmas Gift Giving Guide giveaway hop hosted by Home Grown Families and Just My Everyday Life.

Life, Loss, and Other Things Worth Mentioning is happy to be participating with over 60 other awesome sites to show you many ways that you can have an Eco-Friendly Holiday season!

Each blog participating is offering a prize package to a (in some cases, multiple) winner worth $25 or more consisting of Eco-Friendly, sustainable, up-cycled, and recycled items, as well as items from independent consultants, authors and Etsy!

For those of you who may be new to my blog, I had a rough journey with recurrent miscarriages while trying to have my second child.  After trying every medical intervention suggested and having each and every one of them fail, I was hanging onto my sanity by a thread.  My last ditch effort to save my most recent pregnancy was by using herbs.  By the grace of God, after 6 consecutive miscarriages, I gave birth to my second son, Joseph.  

In the last few weeks, my husband and I have started our own business and blog called Chapter One Herbs.  We are selling the same herbal tincture, Welcome Womb, that I believe helped me to stay pregnant along with a variety of other herbal tinctures and teas for starting and growing families.

For this Green Christmas Blog Hop, one lucky reader will get to choose 3 teas (approximately a one month supply of each) from our store, and you will also get this awesome The Tea Spot Steeping Mug perfect for out loose teas!

Click here for more information on this product

Now that you will have the perfect tea cup, now comes the tough decision on what teas you think will best fit your mood, your desires, and your taste buds!

If you are trying to conceive or plan to soon, TTC Tea is an excellent blend of 7 herbs that help promote fertility and hormonal balance for the female reproductive system.  Drink this tea 1-3 times daily until pregnant!

Green Tea has a number of health benefits that range from possibly lowering your risk of heart disease and certain types of cancer, as well as potentially aiding in weight loss.  But, what you may not know is that it also has been used to promote fertility.  Green Tea can improve the quality of cervical mucus making it more hospitable for sperm!  If you aren't trying to conceive, it is okay to drink it just because it tastes refreshing!

Red Raspberry Leaf Tea (commonly abbreviated as RRL Tea) is a fantastic way to strengthen and tone the uterus.  It is often credited with helping labor by making contractions more efficient.  Some midwives encourage its use throughout pregnancy, while some prefer it be drunk only in the last trimester.  I started drinking RRL Tea daily at 32 weeks of pregnancy.  I increased the frequency to 2-3 times a day as I got closer to my due date.  I don't know if it was the RRL Tea, but I gave birth to a 10 pound 3 ounce baby boy with only one push in the stirrups!  This is also a great gift idea for anyone who is expecting and/or planning a natural childbirth! 

Peppermint Tea is a favorite for so many because of the menthol aroma and flavor.  Peppermint has been used for years to treat stomach upset, nausea, diarrhea and even headaches!   This is also a great way to end an evening meal.  After all, who hasn't heard of an after dinner mint?

Most people have heard of drinking Chamomile Tea to improve sleep, but it may also ease menstrual cramps, sooth your stomach due to flu or other digestive upset, and help with anxiety.  Also, if you are one of the unlucky people who suffer from migraine headaches, you may find that drinking a cup of Chamomile Tea at the first sign of a headache may be of benefit!  For those who are trying to conceive, this may be your answer to those people who tell you to, "Just relax.  It will happen."

Also, if you order anything from our store, you can use the promo code LLAOT20 to save 20% off of your order!  Best of luck to you and most of all Merry Christmas! After you enter here, be sure to look at the linky below and enter all of the other awesome Green Giveaways!

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