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God has blessed me tremendously with an amazing husband, Doug, and two gorgeous little boys, Gavin and Joey. It has always been a dream of mine to have a large family but God may have other plans. I had a series of 6 consecutive early miscarriages when trying for baby #2. We are currently trying for baby #3 after our 7th miscarriage. I am faithful that God's plan is perfect, even when I am not happy about it. I love comments and meeting new followers so please don't be shy!

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Thursday, November 17, 2011

Doctors Are People Too


Original post date was 2/7/11
There was a time when I would go to a doctor when I had a health problem and I would just follow their instructions because, well, they are the doctors. They have letters after their name that is supposed to tell me that they know more than me, right? In the past few years I have changed my thinking on this.

I started charting my cycles when I wanted to conceive my first baby. Within a few weeks I really learned how amazing our bodies are and how much they really tell us on a day to day basis. When I got pregnant, I stopped charting (as anyone who charts will tell you to do once you get your positive pregnancy test) until a couple of months after I got my cycles back. Much to my surprise, I had another positive home pregnancy test with my first chart! When I went to the Emergency Room due to the spotting that had really turned more into bleeding, the doctor told me that I was 6 weeks pregnant. I told him that according to my ovulation, I should be about 6 weeks and 3 days. I know that measuring 3 days off on an early ultrasound is not cause for alarm but I thought it was worth mentioning. The doctor gave me a quick grin and told me that I couldn't really know when I ovulated. I told him that I had been charting and I did know when I ovulated according to my temperature, fertility signs, and ovulation pains that happen (for me) a couple of days leading up to my ovulation. He said, "Oh. Okay." in a way that clearly told me that he didn't believe me but wasn't going to debate it.

After my second loss I went in to see my doctor. I asked my OB about using Welcome Womb herbs to prevent miscarriage she dismissed my idea without further consideration. She did give me some line about how herbs aren't FDA regulated and therefore shouldn't be used since there haven't been studies (with government oversight) to determine what they actually do. So, her plan of action was going to be to run some tests when I got pregnant again, meaning beta hcg and progesterone. As most of you know, and I know now, running those tests doesn't keep anyone pregnant. The progesterone may be able to be improved if it is low but that wasn't going to tell me anything. Well, despite having doubling (just barely) hcg numbers and progesterone within normal limits, that pregnancy was lost as well.

After several more months of charts under my belt, and a couple more losses, I went to my OB armed with questions. I wanted to know why I was losing the pregnancies. This was the first time that when I wasn't satisfied with an answer, I continued to ask for more clarification, explanation, and information. After a few questions where my doctor couldn't answer to my satisfaction, she finally was willing to admit that she didn't know the answer. That was a major turning point in my relationship with my doctor. In a good way. Now, my doctor was nothing more that a woman a few years older than me who read some books in college that taught her what she knows. She and I just read different books. We began working together to figure out how to proceed. It was no longer me just nodding and wondering what I was going to do next. We were a team. A team that decided it was time to go to a specialist. A Reproductive Endocrinologist. With a name like that, I had to get some answers!

Well, I didn't. But again, I asked my questions and didn't stop until I was satisfied with his answers. I like Dr. Mooney, a lot, because he really took his time to talk, explain, and clarify and didn't seem to get a bruised ego if I questioned his opinions. Again, I developed a great relationship with my doctor because I refused to think of him as anything other than a guy who read different books than me.

I don't want anyone to think that I am not appreciative of doctors. I have a lot of respect for them since, I am sure, medical school isn't a piece of cake. I just wish that more people could recognize that doctors, while highly educated and skilled, are really just people. They lose their car keys, misplace their television remote, and burn dinner. They probably have cried themselves to sleep once. They have probably been an a car accident that was their own fault. I remind myself of this every time I walk into a doctor's office. I can't be intimidated by them and I can't assume they have all of the answers. I need to be able to communicate with them so that, together, we can solve whatever problem we have using both of our brains.

When I decided, with Dr. Mooney's knowledge and blessing, to try the Welcome Womb and went on to have a happy and healthy pregnancy, I couldn't help but wonder that if I hadn't just gracefully accepted my OB's opinion on herbs, if my whole life would have been different. I know that everything happens for a reason and that if I had tried the herbs and they had worked, I wouldn't have my dear sweet Joseph who is worth everything I went through. Still makes me wonder though.

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