tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-58781983855588075962024-03-14T04:23:08.141-04:00Life, Loss, and Other Things Worth MentioningMy children. The ones that are here and the ones that met God before they met me. My journey with recurrent miscarriages, pregnancy, my faith, and my life.Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16721275443454633435noreply@blogger.comBlogger479125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5878198385558807596.post-9913814928104807032013-10-13T11:35:00.000-04:002013-10-13T11:39:24.415-04:00Week 41.5: A Birth Story At Last!Before Silas was conceived, I posted about how the most frequently occurring birthday in the United States is September 16th. When we finally found out that we were pregnant and my EDD was also the 16th, I was pretty excited!
September 16th came and went. So did the 17th, 18th, 19th,... well you get the drift, right? On the 23rd, we had a long appointment with the OB andMariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16721275443454633435noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5878198385558807596.post-64527273858032365852013-09-22T22:23:00.002-04:002013-09-22T22:23:39.060-04:0041 Weeks: A Baby ElephantNever ever did I think I would be blogging on a Sunday night one week after this baby was due to arrive. Yet, here I am. Ever see the movie Groundhog Day? This last couple of weeks has been the pregnancy version of that movie. Every night I have some mild contractions that may or may not follow some sort of pattern. Each night I go to bed thinking that maybe... just Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16721275443454633435noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5878198385558807596.post-47838322373713560562013-09-15T22:13:00.000-04:002013-09-15T22:13:07.038-04:0040 Weeks and Still PregnantIt has been a wild couple of weeks!! I had a couple of weekly appointments where my OB would check baby's position by palpating my uterus, and verified that baby was head down. I got the results of my GBS swab and they were negative. All was lining up for the dream natural childbirth. Then at 38 weeks and a few days my OB again felt my uterus and this time he sighed. Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16721275443454633435noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5878198385558807596.post-48705978752863410142013-08-25T20:18:00.001-04:002013-08-25T20:18:46.922-04:0037 Weeks: I can't complain.So, really, 37 weeks. I find myself looking down at my belly and recalling how I thought that this would never happen. Here I am in the final stretch of a pregnancy that, for lack of better words, has been uneventful. Just strange really. So, I know that as a "infertile" it is taboo to ever complain about pregnancy because after all, we spent years and dollars to get here so enjoy it,Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16721275443454633435noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5878198385558807596.post-4543468174327846452013-08-12T21:31:00.003-04:002013-08-12T21:31:37.525-04:0035 Weeks and Thinking Out LoudReally? 35 Weeks? It shouldn't come as any big surprise but we will be welcoming a new human into our family in as few as 5 weeks... or even less. That is crazy. It really is. Up until this week there was zero evidence that a baby would be coming into this house. Not a single thing ready. No nursery (planning on co-sleeping until baby sleeps through the Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16721275443454633435noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5878198385558807596.post-50462847799356014782013-07-30T21:19:00.000-04:002013-07-30T21:19:06.274-04:00Motherhood after Miscarriages
Over the past few years of blogging, I have had the opportunity to get to know a number of wonderful ladies. Megan stands out in the crowd because she has a wonderful way of sharing her belief and faith in Our Creator so eloquently that reading her blog posts always serves as inspiration. She is human though, and has dealt with the difficult feelings and challenges that Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16721275443454633435noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5878198385558807596.post-31390741476878204052013-07-23T21:48:00.000-04:002013-07-30T21:55:30.800-04:00Mostly Wordless Wednesday (with a short update)
Please pass the Starbucks.
Family Fun Day
I can't wait to add another boy to this loving pair!
Yeah... I'm cool.
And one of those pictures that can never quite capture the beauty that God paints in the sky.
I am now 32 weeks pregnant. The weeks are starting to fly by and I am starting to realize that in a matter of a couple of months, we will be meeting this new Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16721275443454633435noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5878198385558807596.post-14003636671200758662013-07-02T20:57:00.002-04:002013-07-02T20:58:32.869-04:0029 Weeks and As the Kidney Turns
With the news about Doug spinning in my head, life has been a roller coaster of emotions. It started with climbing in the train and buckling up. I knew that it was going to be a wild ride, but I was ready. That is until Dr. Google climbed into the seat right next to us. You know that rider that kind of hogs the seat and sticks his elbows right where you want to put yoursMariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16721275443454633435noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5878198385558807596.post-90218186792408190902013-06-18T21:21:00.001-04:002013-06-18T21:21:53.472-04:00Because Nothing Goes as We PlannedLife was just sailing along there for the last 6 months. I was feeling good. Doug was feeling good. Kids were healthy. Then, out of the blue, I noticed that when Doug took off his socks that the imprint was still there and it was obvious. I pointed it out and we shared a giggle about how funny it looked. Then, I thought about it for a minute. A few weeks Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16721275443454633435noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5878198385558807596.post-20910537665386998922013-06-11T13:04:00.000-04:002013-06-11T13:04:10.206-04:0026 Weeks: What's in a Name?Since finding out that we are expecting another little boy, we have been asked countless times if we have picked a name. Everyone has their own "thing" for picking names and ours hasn't been consistent. With Gavin, we named him within moments of finding out he was a boy. We called him by his name ever since. To be honest, there wasn't any real reason for his name other Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16721275443454633435noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5878198385558807596.post-19911074298485652622013-05-29T21:23:00.000-04:002013-05-29T21:23:03.794-04:0024 Weeks: ViabilityI know that my losses are all early losses, but I still breathe a short sigh of relief when I pass this milestone. I no longer need to use the doppler to verify that he is still in there and doing okay. He is kicking and poking me routinely and Gavin was even able to feel him a couple of times.
Speaking of Gavin, he couldn't be more excited about the new baby coming. He talks Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16721275443454633435noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5878198385558807596.post-42656898835628836572013-05-16T15:28:00.000-04:002013-05-16T17:00:44.740-04:00Week 22: HeavenWhat a wild week!! A quick recap involves what feels like panic attacks, 3 massive nose bleeds and a bad back. Yes. It was good times here at my house.
The back ache was quickly resolved after some chiropractic care. If any of you are on the fence about whether or not seeing a chiropractor during pregnancy is a good idea, mark me down for a big fat YES!! I went Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16721275443454633435noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5878198385558807596.post-71419553930837559062013-05-06T21:50:00.002-04:002013-05-07T08:04:52.647-04:0021 Weeks and Infertility, Loss, and Mother's DayOfficially on the downside of the hill of pregnancy and holding on tight. I am able to feel him move pretty regularly now and it is reassuring except for when it isn't. His kicks and jabs ore just subtle enough that unless I am sitting or laying down with the intention of paying attention to him, I don't notice. Then, I find myself at dinner time thinking, "Uh oh. I don't Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16721275443454633435noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5878198385558807596.post-10541960557458557372013-04-24T15:22:00.000-04:002013-04-24T16:30:41.108-04:00Cabin FeverSo far we have been very blessed with healthy kids for the last 5 years. We get our sniffles here and there but very few actual illnesses. Then... illness struck. Only Gavin, thankfully! (Knocking vigorously on wood!) Gavin has been sick starting on Friday and today is Wednesday. Not all days have been bad days, but we haven't been able to do much outside of Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16721275443454633435noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5878198385558807596.post-42530019506951761572013-04-21T10:18:00.003-04:002013-04-21T10:18:51.423-04:0019 WeeksYep. I skipped 18 weeks. I blew right past it. It was a really busy week or so for us but busy in a very good way. I met my new OB and I am pretty sure that I made an excellent move. He seems like just the doctor to be supportive of my birth choices!
I had already scheduled appointment with a genetic counselor this week so despite my lack of concern with genetic Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16721275443454633435noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5878198385558807596.post-34539336312229811632013-04-12T13:42:00.000-04:002013-04-12T13:42:02.121-04:0017 Weeks- Breaking Up Isn't So Hard After AllNow that the first trimester funk has finally eased up, I am trying to make up for everything I didn't do for the last 4 months. That means laundry, dishes, bathing my children ... Okay. I still did that, but it was only when I had too and no sooner. So, overall I am feeling great which freaks me out routinely. I felt some movement a couple of weeks ago but maybe baby Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16721275443454633435noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5878198385558807596.post-65434019430691398092013-04-01T12:05:00.000-04:002013-04-01T12:05:19.980-04:00It's a ...
At Easter dinner when conversation had gotten quiet I asked Gavin, "Can you tell everyone where we went yesterday?"
"We went to the hospital!"
"And what did we do at the hospital?" I quickly added.
"We checked on the baby and... It's a BOY!!" he announced!
On the way home from the hospital I asked Gavin if he would have been more excited to have a sister. He told me that he wasMariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16721275443454633435noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5878198385558807596.post-40613732168304095892013-03-29T16:12:00.001-04:002013-03-29T16:12:16.273-04:0015 WeeksI am actually almost 16 weeks but I just haven't felt much like posting. I have been struggling with the fact that not everyone I wish was pregnant is. One thing that might be even harder for me this week has been that not every woman who gets pregnant gets to stay that way.
A dear woman that I have never ever met became pregnant about a week after I did. When I read theMariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16721275443454633435noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5878198385558807596.post-41628377062120287362013-03-20T21:24:00.000-04:002013-03-20T21:25:51.085-04:0014 Weeks: Love/Hate RelationshipI love my OB. She really is a fun lady and I would go as far as to say that over the years we have become friends. Not like we go clubbing or anything, but we have a mutual like for one another. As an example, she told me this long story about going for a walk on a golf course and finding herself a couple of miles away from her car and really really needing to poop. This, Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16721275443454633435noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5878198385558807596.post-58512443094372820972013-03-14T15:37:00.001-04:002013-03-14T15:38:30.300-04:0013 Weeks: GraduationToday I went to the RE's office for what will be my last appointment ever... unless we decide on a 4th baby. I sat in an empty waiting room and as my favorite nurse and receptionist walked past the glass, the each gave me excited waves. It was then that it hit me. I was going to miss these people. They have seen me in tears. They have celebrated successes big and Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16721275443454633435noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5878198385558807596.post-42772704879478929682013-03-05T13:33:00.002-05:002013-03-05T14:06:55.519-05:0012 weeksOver the last week or so, I have been slowly but surely comin gout of the first trimester haze that I have been in. I still need naps nearly everyday, but I haven't thrown up in a solid week! My apatite has returned for the most part and I am only occasionally nauseated whereas it had been almost all day sickness. Let me please clarify that none of those side effects bothered Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16721275443454633435noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5878198385558807596.post-76589059760799955282013-02-24T16:25:00.001-05:002013-02-24T16:25:38.050-05:0011 weeksBlew right past week 10 with no post. Oops! Beside saying goodbye to Grandma, nothing really remarkable happened with me last week. I did find the baby's heartbeat with my doppler at home several times. I found that having a full bladder was helpful. That, and using plenty of ultrasound gel. It seems to be around 135-155.
I am feeling better and better about Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16721275443454633435noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5878198385558807596.post-22991221525467854332013-02-19T15:13:00.000-05:002013-02-19T15:13:53.366-05:00February 18th, 2013
On this day, Heaven welcomed my Grandmother. I think not of this day in sadness for what we have lost, but in recognition that after living on this Earth for a remarkable 100 years, surrounded by family and friends too numerous to count, she has went to be with Jesus. I told her long before I was married how much I wanted my children to know her. Of course her response was thatMariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16721275443454633435noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5878198385558807596.post-20810430526186956312013-02-13T13:47:00.000-05:002013-02-13T13:48:04.886-05:009 WeeksYou know what isn't fun about pregnancy after infertility and recurrent miscarriages? The whole first trimester
My last appointment was two weeks ago. When I scheduled today's appointment I thought, "Eh. I can wait two weeks. It isn't that long." I kept that attitude until Monday night. All of the sudden it hit me how long it had been since I had the Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16721275443454633435noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5878198385558807596.post-10439361103404521582013-02-06T10:59:00.002-05:002013-02-06T11:01:16.866-05:008 WeeksYes. I made it to 8 weeks! 8 weeks and 3 days to be exact! I don't get a scan this week so I have to be patient and wait until next week to peek at the baby. I am relishing in the fact that I am starting to be more consistently nauseated. While many women hope to get through pregnancy without morning sickness, I long for it. It isn't pleasant but it as a Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16721275443454633435noreply@blogger.com1