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Not sure you want to go the psycho lady route?  There is still an easy way to increase fertility and you have an opportunity to win it for free!  (US and Canada only)

After all of the Christmas celebrations and fun, last night I finally had the opportunity to use my Acupressure for fertility DVD for the fist time.  This video is so full of awesome information about how manipulating and applying pressure to identified pressure points can help with a myriad of issues that can, and do, impact our fertility.  Stress, hormonal imbalances, sex drive, circulation issues, and tons of other things that may not seem directly related to our fertility really are.  I am sure that as I add this DVD to my routine I will learn something new each time.  I also like the way the information is not overwhelming.  I don't feel like I am being bombarded as it is delivered casually and while I was engaged in the practice.  The very subtle music is perfect as it isn't distracting and won't get annoying (which is something that happens to me with almost every exercise DVD I own.)  When I was finished I felt very relaxed and invigorated at the same time.  There is a 5 minute introduction, the practice portion which is approximately 35 minutes, and there is 2 additional chapters for pre-IVF and post-IVF.  The in vitro fertilization component will be wonderful for couples who are looking for something to help them maintain a calm and healthy balance.

One other super cool thing about this DVD is that once you learn the points, it would be really easy to multi-task.  Waiting for water to boil?  Improve your fertility by massaging a few pressure points.  At the RE's office waiting for an appointment?  There are points you can work on without anyone one in the waiting room knowing what you are doing.  Well, unless of course they are also using acupressure.

I have been having a ton of random thoughts this week none worthy of a whole blog post so I decided to just write how my brain moves.  Short.  Sweet.  To the point.

I like being a girl.  If not for the awesome ability to be a mom, it is for the ability to have lunch with my friends.  A guy can't go to lunch with a friend to chit chat without people assuming that they are on an awkward first date.  Two girls can share some chips and salsa, exchange emotion filled glances, share a tear or two when called for and no one second guessed their sexuality.  It appears as if the only way two men can have lunch together without people passing judgement is if they are both donning Carharts or camouflage.  Then again, I'm guessing most guys have zero interest in having a lunch date unless there is beer, football, and women involved. 

I have wanted blinds in my living room windows for at least the last 6 months.  In the afternoons, while I adore sunshine, it is blinding and makes the couple hours of Joey's naptime very challenging to enjoy.  So last night we went to Lowe's to buy blinds.  We picked them out, came home, and hung them.  Well, by "them" I mean one.  The other set of blinds had been cut to a shorter width, put back into the box, and sold to us.  They weren't going to work.  So this morning Doug went to a different Lowe's (mostly because it was close to a Starbucks) and exchanged them.  When he returned with the coffee, he put the new blinds on the couch next to me and I instantly knew they weren't right.  They were twice as dark as the ones that were already up.  After a bit of denial, Doug finally agreed that I was right.  It was at this moment that I heard Doug almost drop an F bomb.  So, I volunteered to take a quick run back for the right color.  To make a long story short... I get to the return counter and tell the lady that I need to exchange the blinds.  Her response is, "Is there something wrong with them?" 

I answered, "Well, not with these exactly but the first set..."

She interrupted me with this.  "Just tell me yes or no.  I am not a bartender without the booze."

So yeah.  Nice huh?

Not my dog but c'mon... who can resist this face?

My third random rambling is about pregnancy.  You didn't think I was going to write a whole post and not mention something related to fertility did ya?  I decided today that all of us get cheated out of the first 3-4 weeks of pregnancy.  Since we can't know that we are pregnant until we are 3 1/2 or 4 weeks in, we just get credited with those days.  But we don't even get to marvel at the amazing changes our body has undergone to grow this human inside of us.  We just get to look back and say, "Wow.  My body did that!"  This cycle I am going to enjoy the first three weeks of pregnancy that we never pay attention to.  Today I am officially one week pregnant.  I may not get past four weeks but I want to enjoy every last second of my next (or this!) pregnancy. 

Doug has been off this week so we are trying to get a lot accomplished while he is home.  But, today we made time for something a little different.  We went to a train museum in Dennison, Ohio and the boys both had a blast.

My boys enjoying the view.

Joey sticking his tongue out at me... again!

Driving the train...or something like that.

Can you hear me now?

Getting a feel for sleeping on a train

Ready for some lounge time after a long day of learning!

I love Christmas.  I do.  But, boy am I ever glad it is all over.  About 10 years ago I had a job working with juvenile delinquents at a treatment center and got stuck working midnights for a while.  Today, I have felt just like I did when I worked a midnight shift, slept for a few hours then got up and tried to have a normal afternoon.  I'm tired and not all "here".  But all in all it was a weekend with family, fun, laughter and, of course, gifts.

As a farewell to Christmas for another 364 days, here is a short video of Gavin coming downstairs and seeing his "big" gift.  I love the genuine excitement and wonder in his eyes!


Now... Lets get back to baby making!  Last cycle was a bust.  I went to the RE on Christmas Eve to get a baseline scan.  As I sat on the paper lined table I thought to myself, "Is it weird that I am Facebook friends with the doctor that is about to come in a take a little peek at my ovaries?"  Since I was alone and had to answer my own question, I decided that, "Yes.  It is a little weird."  But then I decided that if anyone was going to be poking around my nether regions, it may as well be someone I was in a high school dance class with.  Then I glanced around the room and looked at the classy framed art (I had to go to the main office which is much bigger and much nicer) and sort of missed the posters with the cartoon drawing of a uterus.  I think I can identify and draw a diagram of a uterus and the life cycle of an egg after my numerous visits to the OB and RE in the last 5 years.  Oh... I also know a thing about menopause and osteoporosis.   Those posters are so informative!  But I digress.  On Christmas Eve there was just art.  Art and one calendar affixed to a cupboard door.  I really wish that I had taken a photo of that calendar so that you could better appreciate what I am about to share.  On the calendar was an outline of a abstract woman's figure holding a baby.  Nothing is wrong with that except in the room that is dimly lit, I didn't notice that it was a drawing of a woman.  All I saw was the profile of a man's body and what really was the woman's leg looked nothing like a leg... if you know what I mean.

So after I saw the doctor and she declared me as cyst free, we wished each other Merry Christmas and that should have been the end.  But no.  Not I.  I can't see an optical illusion of a womans leg, see a penis, and keep this all to myself, right?  I mean after all we are facebook friends.  I guess if anyone I know is going to think I am constantly thinking about sex and such things, it should be the person (other than my husband) who is helping me to get pregnant.

I started the Clomid again this cycle and am really hoping that this can be the last one.  Gavin ripped the button off of my thermometer and while it still works I would love to let it retire.  My hip propping pillow is starting to get flat and I would really like to only pee in a cup at my doctors office where I can write my name on the cup and let someone else play with it.  I want so much to be able to sit back and enjoy 2012 and welcome a new little person into our lives.  But I know that what I want and what I need are two different things.  God will give me everything I need this year.

Today, I am supposed to write to Aunt Flo so how's this?


Dear Aunt Flo,


Cantankerously Yours,


Me




But enough about her.  You know who I don't hate?  I don't hate you!  I think you all are the greatest ever.  I love how supportive, helpful, and kind you all have been.  I adore that I have been able to connect and get to know so many people from this agonizingly long journey to baby #3.  So, since I am completely unable to purchase and ship Christmas gifts to all the corners of the map, I decided that for Christmas I would like to give a gift to one of my fantastic readers.  Just a little something to tell you how much I appreciate you.  No hoops to jump through.  Just comment below and tell me what your Christmas wish is this year and then tell the rafflecopter that you did it!  That is it! Please enter because this is for YOU!  I don't care if we are family, friends, or complete strangers.  You are a reader and I appreciate you! This is only open until the end of Christmas Day EST so don't wait! 
I hope you have the merriest of Christmases.  May God bless you this year and may your relationship with Him flourish to lengths you never knew possible.

 

The wait is actually over but I made 14 days worth of activities to do during my wait.  Today's activity is to watch a TV show or movie about birth or pregnancy.   I am going to be watching the movie The Business of Being Born.  I have heard so much about it and have always wanted to see it so what a great excuse to finally see it!

The past few weeks we have been working with Gavin on sharing, since Joey is now reaching the age of wanting to be involved in real play.  So in honor of Gavin learning to take tuns and share his things, I'm going to share a DVD of this movie with one of you!   A great item for any couple who is expecting to have a baby in a few months or a few years! 

Also to sweeten the pot just a little, I am also going to be giving away 1/3 ounce of essential oil, a jar with diffuser reeds, and the carrier oil from Chapter One Herbs!  A complete set for some aromatherapy!  Not only do essential oils help to freshen a room, it does so in a natural, chemical free, and healthy way.  Why spray toxins into the air when you can do without and see a real benefit from the wonderful aromas?  The winner will be able to choose either Lavender or Ylang Ylang.
Most people know that Lavender can help stress and anxiety, but did you know that it can help with easing menstrual cramps?  What about helping the respiratory tract when you are congested from the cold or flu?  It is even toted as being an antidepressant!  So, if another cycle of trying to conceive has you in the dumps or if merely the stress and anxiety of the holidays leaves you feeling frazzled, this would be a wonderful choice for you!

Ylang Ylang essential oil is a perfect addition to your bedroom.  If you are trying to conceive, or just looking to keep things lively in the bedroom, Ylang Ylang is a all natural aphrodisiac!  Put this oil in a reed diffuser on a night stand, add some lingerie and maybe some soft music... and let it work it's magic!  This is a great thing to keep in mind for Valentines Day as it is not a traditional gift but a great gift for lovers! 

Enter today and share with your friends! 

Today on my While I Wait list I get to show some love to some of my favorite bloggers!  I have chosen some of my blogging friends who are trying to conceive and I am thrilled to be following their journey.


I am sure that I have shared this one before but Maria at Every Day is a Country Song has such a fun blog to read.  Every post warms the heart, tugs at a tear, and makes me like her just that much more.  She might be a bit of a crazy cat lady but I would have it any other way!


Megan at My Life as a Minister's Wife is another fantastic blog to read.  She has suffered losses, but has the faith of an army as she continues to try for her first baby.  Just this week, she wrote an amazing post that really spoke to me and I think you will like it too!


At Our Journey for  a Baby, she is often a woman of few words.  Interestingly enough, the words that she finds of value enough to share are valuable beyond words.  Ironic?  I think not. 

There are so many of you but instead of listing you all I will share more in my next TWW... if there is one.  I am still hanging around in Limboland unsure if the line on today's test is still from a trigger or if it is a real, honest to goodness, pregnancy.  Feeling kind of crampy and completely unsure.

Many of you know that I have been testing out my trigger shot using cheap internet dip strips.  It was fun the first time.  It had been so long since I had seen an positive test that it didn't even bother me that they weren't real.  That is until the end.  Right around the time I expected to see the lines get light or go away, the blasted things started taunting me and teasing me.  Sometimes a touch lighter, sometimes darker, and sometimes the same.  I also started using the name brand tests so that I wouldn't go crazy analyzing evap lines, ghost lines and squinters.  But what did I do... exactly what I was trying to avoid.  So today as I am about to close the book on this cycle with another lighter test, I thought I would share with you the craziness that I subjected myself to the past few days. (Clicking on the pictures will enlarge them.  You may have to then use your back button to come back to the page.)

8 DPO Can you see it?

Yea!  Looking darker!  Could this finally be it?

Uh oh.  I was hoping for darker.  Looks lighter... Ugh.

Only professional squinters need apply.  Losing almost all hope.

The past 18 cycles I have been handling the disappointment rather well.  This time I have been an emotional wreck.  I have spent way too much time on message boards and consulting with Dr. Google.  I am exhausted.  I just really wanted this to be the month.  I know that technically it isn't over until it is really over but I would just like to sleep until then. 

What do you think?  Can you see it?

Care to share any of your testing pictures or thoughts on testing early?  Feel free to link up blog posts below or tell me what you think in the comments. 

What do you do when the person you love has a broken heart? What do you do when it breaks again and again from miscarriage after miscarriage?

For the most part, men are less emotional creatures than women. I'm not suggesting more or less emotion is good or bad only that, using a big brush to paint this picture, men and women experience life differently. Like most men, I am a fixer. When there is a problem I want to fix it. I'll suggest a number of viable solutions to a problem in an effort to find the solution that best fixes the problem at hand.

But I can't fix a miscarriage. I can't keep a heart from breaking. I can't stop tears from falling.

Truth is I don't feel the same loss that my wife does. An early miscarriage means I have yet to see my wife's belly grow big or place my hand on her belly and feel the baby kick let alone touch or look at the baby. I don't yet have an emotional connection to the baby so my loss is very different than Maria's. But I do experience the loss. Mostly I experience it through Maria's tears and sunken face.

The best advice I have for husbands is to recognize that while we may not have a strong emotional connection with the baby our wives probably do and just because we can't fix the problem doesn't mean we should check out and not provide support and comfort to our hurting wives. Listen when your wife needs to talk and don't be afraid to ask how she is doing. I have learned that asking how she is doing tells her that you care about her and when she says "nothing" be sure to ask again.

My advice for the wives. Don't expect your husband to truly understand the extent of your pain. Chances are he doesn't. But know that if he had the power he would move heaven and earth to dry your tears and mend your heart.

My best advice for husbands and wives. There is nothing more important in this life than your relationship with Jesus Christ. Don't allow the pain of loss to cause separation you from your spouse. Instead use the adversity to grow closer to each other and lean even more on your Heavenly Father.

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Has you husband ever guest blogger for you? Link it up here!

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Today I am supposed to be creating something beautiful. Today was a really busy day with our family Christmas party and while I could have (and wish I would have) created a really nice looking to-go plate of food, here I sit. I have nothing for today's activity. So... rather than throw together something that I made in a hurry and without my head and heart in the right place, I am going to share some of the unique things that were created for my parents while they were on their cruise.  Each day, they would get fresh towels that were twisted and folded into the shape of animals. 





Pretty cool huh???  Hoping for some definitive results from my testing escapade this week.  Please keep the prayers and positive thoughts and vibes coming! 

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This morning as I was finally decorating my tree, I decided I had better look at my list of While I Wait activities and be thinking about what I was going to write.  Then I saw... Bake something.  So ironic that I needed to bake a pie for our family Christmas Party tomorrow!  My new favorite thing to bake is this amazingly delicious and super easy apple pie! I was a little intimidated when I made it for the first time for Thanksgiving since I have never in my life made a pie before.  To my surprise, I got raving reviews and it was even compared to my most wonderful Grandmother's apple pies!  So even if you are a novice, this pie is really easy to follow and will yield amazing results!

The first time I made this I doubled the recipe and it was very easy.  Just be sure that your bowls are big enough and you will have no problem making two pies! 


All American Apple Pie
Above is a link to the original recipe.  This one has some of my own tips and observations.  

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
2. To Make Crust: In a large bowl, mix together 1 1/2 cups flour, oil, milk, 1 1/2 teaspoons sugar and salt until evenly blended. Press mixture into a 9 inch pie pan, spreading the dough evenly over the bottom and up sides. Crimp edges of the dough around the perimeter.
3. To Make Filling: Mix together 3/4 cup sugar, 3 tablespoons flour, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Sprinkle over apples and toss to coat. Spread evenly in unbaked pie shell.
4. To Make Topping: Using a pastry cutter, mix together 1/2 cup flour, 1/2 cup sugar and butter in a large bowl until evenly distributed and crumbly in texture. Sprinkle over apples.  A bigger bowl makes it easier to work.  I learned this the hard way!  Also, a pastry cutter isn't mandatory but will make it 200 times easier!
5. Put pie in the oven on a cookie sheet to catch the juices that may spill over. Bake 45 minutes or until a toothpick pushed into an apple gives little resistance indicating the apples are cooked through.  

These pies are so good!  I couldn't wait until it was cooled to have some! 

Have you baked anything that you would like to share for people looking for inspiration for their "While I Wait" post? Link up your post below! I can't wait to see all of the scrumptious things you all have made!

Prayer is so important.  One of the things I have struggled with from the time I was a young girl is praying.  I mean, how do I talk to God?  I have always been taught my manners and showing respect to my elders, teachers, and authorities.  I often get tongue tied when I try to pray.  This is what my prayers often sound like in my head.

Dear God... wait.. is Dear God the start of a letter to God or a prayer?  Um... God.  That isn't any better.  I'm just going to go with Dear God.  Dear God, I want You to ... what I want is not always what I need... I want your will to be done in the lives of person X, Y, and Z but I am really hoping that it is your will to bless them with item A, B, or C.  And, then, if it is in Your will, wow... I feel like I am giving God a to-do list.  What should I really be praying for anyway?  I'm just going to skip to thanking Him for all of the wonderful things he has already blessed me with.  Thank you for my wonderful family, our health, and having food, drink and shelter.  Amen.

So today I am going to pray everything I want to pray for and recognize that God hears my edits so I may as well just talk to God and trust that He knows my intent and my desires. 

Thank you, God, for all of the wonderful gifts you have given me and my family.  I am so thankful for our health, the love that we share, the support that we give, and the lives that we live.  I know I need to do a better job of doing Your will and sharing my faith in You.  I really struggle with being a spoiled child and wanting what I want without regard for Your plan.  It isn't very Christlike for me to be like this.  I am sorry.

Since You are always with me, You know how much I want another child to come and join our family.  I feel confident that You will bless me with another child when Your timing is perfect.  I pray that You continue to help me find patience and understanding when Your plan doesn't make sense to me.  When I watch people experience such sadness and loss, I seek to better understand You and lean on You.   I need Your continued guidance and no matter how spoiled I act sometimes, I do know that Your will is what I need.  You have proven to me time and time again how Your plan is perfect and for this I thank You.  I am very much looking forward to seeing what You have planned for me next!  Amen

How do you pray?  Do you just let it all out there and speak your mind or do you try to me more organized?  If you have a link about prayer feel free to link it up below or simply share your thoughts in the comments section below. 



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Well, turns out I struggled with today's activity more than I expected.  Doing something nice for a pregnant woman shouldn't be that tough, right?  I kept trying to think of ways to do something anonymously but it was so much harder to coordinate than I thought.  After a great deal of searching, reading and researching I have decided that my gift to a pregnant woman is going to be the gift of learning about the very wonderful option of adoption.  It breaks my heart to know how many babies are aborted every single day and in many cases the women (or in many cases- girls) have no idea what they are really consenting to.

When abortion is the path that is chosen they are not only ending a life they are ending a life that God created.  To kill that child is a death sentence for the baby and committing a sin.  To pretend that this isn't the case is doing a great disservice to these expectant moms. 

So, my gift to some pregnant woman out there somewhere is the opportunity to learn about their options and the consequences for not choosing life.  I chose to donate to Human Life International.  If you feel led to do the same click here for more information on this charity.

Were you inspired to do something for a pregnant woman on your 6 DPO? If so, please comment about it or link up your post below!


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Urine For Some Fun





I hope this has inspired you to write a song about fertility! Link up your posts or comment below with your lyrics!



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Today I get to write a letter to my womb according to my While I Wait list. So... here it goes!






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Dear Wombie McWomberstein Wombtastic Wonder R.U. Indere Womb:

I don't communicate with you very often because I am starting to feel a little slighted. You haven't exactly been returning my "calls."  I have invited you to a number of engagements and I have been thinking that you are going to hold up your end of the deal but you don't even show up.  I am just starting to wonder if you are even in there?  Did you get invited to hang out in a more hospitable host?  I'm pretty sure I would be aware if you broke up with me, right?  I mean... where are you?  How can you leave me hanging like this?

I would be remiss if I didn't thank you for the wonderful job you did cooking up the two boys I have.  You did a great job with them and I know that you can do it again.  You just need to get your head in the game.  Be receptive to the little eggs that want to implant and show them the love you showed Gavin and Joey.

I will try my best to give you a nice break after this time.  I know you must be feeling a little used in the past 4 years but I gave you a 30 hiatus before I requested your services.    So when you get back from your Womb Union Meeting, it is time to clock in and earn your keep.

Sincerely,
The Infertile Chick Upstairs

What would you tell your womb if had ears and could hear? Share in the comments or link up your post!

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It is officially 3 days past ovulation. I even got a little eggie on my chart to prove it!  So this is the day I get to dream.  I get to dream about my next delivery!

I was really hoping for a natural childbirth with Gavin.  I planned on it.  I knew it was going to be hard work but I was sure I could do it.  That is... until I was in labor for the 3rd day in a row.  I think it is what they call prodromal labor but whatever you call it, it was three days of consistent contractions and only short spurts of sleep.  So when I was finally admitted to the hospital I was exhausted and my whole plan was tossed out the window.  If you want to read his birth story, it is HERE. 


When I was pregnant with Joey I was adamant that this time I would have my natural childbirth!  That was the case regardless of my OB's constant reminders of how I would want an epidural.  She even went as far as to try to schedule me a consult with anesthesiology so that my next epidural would be better.  She would then tell me about the chance I would need a c-section and that I should probably get the epidural so that if I needed surgery they wouldn't have to put me out.  I did end up with an induction but I managed to deliver my 10 pound 3 ounce baby vaginally without any pain medication!  It was awesome, but not what I really wanted. Joey's birth story is HERE.

Dreaming about the next one started within about 10 minutes of Joey's delivery.  Not even kidding!  I was delivering the placenta and my OB told me that if I ever needed to deliver a 11 pounder, I had the pelvis to do it!  I was thrilled with this!  Because with that information I could avoid an induction even if I have another big baby.  They can't justify inducing early just to prevent a big baby if there is no reason to believe that I can't push him (or her!) out!  So the planning began!

I do not want to be induced again.  There wasn't a good reason for my last one so let's just let God decide when this next baby will arrive.  In fact, I wish I could have a home birth but something tells me that a midwife wouldn't want to deliver a potentially big baby at my home which is at least a good 20 minutes from a hospital.  Plus, the time it takes to get paramedics to our "off the beaten path" home would be problematic too.  So, in lieu of a home birth I want to have a home birth experience at a hospital if that makes any sense.

I want to be able to walk around.  I want to stand up and go pee when I need to.  I want to eat and drink if the mood strikes.  I do not want anything continually attached to me.  I don't mind intermittent monitoring to make sure baby is doing okay in there, but I want to have freedom of movement with no strings (or cords) attached!  I do not want to feel pressured or told what to do.  If I feel like my body is pushing involuntarily, then God is telling me it is time to push.  I want to let God manage this delivery, not doctors.

Then, after baby is here, I want to nurse right away.  I want quiet and privacy.  After a few hours of getting to stare at and nurse my new little life with Doug at my side, then if the nurses need to do some blood work and other such things then they may.  Then let the visitors come!  I am good at sharing after I get a good long turn! 

Have you thought about how you want your next child to be brought into the world?  If you have a post that involves a birth plan, past or current, link it up below! 

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<a href="http://lifelossandotherthings.blogspot.com/2011/12/while-i-wait.html" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglZ76ooSi-ja7OezdPG_d3IzLa_mswnVF0_5WnO1bpV7-z2MsIoqKbzRSdZCh9Nt2S3-Lhxs-C5jFJw1_1yzwTy4iEce2me9Udjv1_REn4Uw7Li5M7iXsV0oCswySWAe2nenzroYXEiEn8/s320/sunrise%252520006.JPG" width="320" /></a>
I used to laugh so hard when they would do those segments on late night TV where they would match up celebrities and show what their babies would look like. I started with Doug and I and then started in with celebs.  This was way too much fun!







I can't wait to see your babies! Be sure to link up your post below and put the While I Wait button in your post!  If you don't have a blog you can put a link in your comment to your baby picture! The site I used was completely free and very user friendly but you are welcome to use any site you like or photo shop if you have it!