I enjoy hosting a good giveaway!  It feels like it has been a while since I did a basic, simple, easy to enter giveaway so here we go!!

What do you do with a 5 gallon bucket of garden fresh tomatoes you ask?  Salsa, of course!  Last year, when we found ourselves with an overflow of tomatoes we tried our hand at salsa and our first ever attempt at canning.  It was... disgusting.  The recipe called for so much vinegar that the salsa tasted like... wait for it.... wait for it... vinegar.  Now, there were relatives that claimed that they liked it.  We think they lied.

This year, we were determined to make a salsa that tasted like our favorite Mexican restaurant.  You know the kind, the real authentic mexican restaurant where when you walk in, you aren't sure if anyone who works there speaks any English.  I love those places!  Mostly because their salsa is so awesome!


After a couple of attempts this is the recipe I am prepared to pass along.  This recipe will make a ton of salsa- about a quart and a half- but it is so good you'll be glad you made this much!


What you will need:
3 pounds of tomatoes
3/4 of a large onion
1 jalapeno pepper
1/2 cup fresh cilantro
1 clove of garlic
1 can of green chillies
1 Tbls Lime juice
1/4 tsp sugar
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cumin



Our procedure:
Using a food processor (I'm sure a big blender would work too) I pulsed the onion, jalapeno pepper (I removed the seeds), cilantro, and garlic until finely chopped.

Then I poured that mixture into a separate bowl so that I could pulse the tomatoes separately.  If you choose to do it together, you risk overfilling the processor and/or liquifying the tomatoes before the other ingredients are chopped. 

We skinned and seeded the tomatoes by throwing them into boiling water for about 30 seconds, then dunking them into ice water.  The skin will peel of easily.  Then by gently squeezing the tomato the seeds and liquidy stuff will also come out.  But be careful!  It can shoot out of the fruit in a direction you were not expecting.  In fact, the back splash in the kitchen, earned it's name tonight!

Then after squeezing as much of the liquid out by hand, I put them into the food processor and pulsed it until it was not chunky, but not too smooth either.

We then combined those two items in a large bowl and added the green chillies (gently drained), salt, sugar, cumin, and lime juice.

Mix it all together and enjoy!!!  


We made 3 batches and pressure canned it so we can enjoy this garden fresh salsa well into the winter! 

Click above to go to the new site!

I have been talking about this for a while now and it is officially time. Doug has been helping me get my new herb site off the ground and today, I am proud to announce that it is ready to go. I am still learning about the new page and technical stuff but I know enough to post! You can go and see my newest herb post about Plaintain and all of its uses! I made an oil infusion with it and it will be ready to go on the shelves right next to the Red Clover tincture soon!  The Red Clover is already for sale on the site while supplies last!


I encourage any of you that are interested in the herbs for fertility and that have other medicinal uses to join the site by signing in (click here or it is in the upper right hand corner of the page). After signing in, you can then subscribe to blog updates, or specific post updates if one is of particular interest.I am very excited about this new journey and look forward to seeing you all there!

I will continue to post here about all things TTC, fertility, and maybe one day, pregnancy.  Life, Loss, and Other Things is where my heart is and I am thrilled that it gave birth to this new dream and website. Thank you to all of you who inspire me, support me, and pray for me. You are all wonderful!

This weekend I finished my Red Clover project and was super excited about how easy it was, how fulfilling it was to feel like I was doing something as God wanted me to, and felt so close to God and nature.  I was so happy about my finished product, I started looking online to see if anyone out there was selling it.  Of course they were, but I could totally beat their prices!  So, it was official!  I was going to make as much of the tincture as I could and offer it for sale! 

Then, come Saturday night, Doug points out that it is very likely that the season for Red Clover could likely be coming to an end.  That we might not be able to make a lot but we could certainly start in the spring and make as much as we wanted then.  I was sort of disappointed since I was so excited about sharing this with those of you who were interested. 

Yesterday afternoon, I decided that I was going to go for a hike and find as much as I could so that I could at least make one batch to sell, and also have enough to hopefully get me through the winter as well.  I walked around outside hunting for clover blossoms.  I found a few here and a few there, but looking at them in the big virtually empty bowl was borderline depressing.  I searched and searched and could occassionally find one or two hiding under some taller grass.  I was sweating between infrequent cool breezes but determined that I would at least fill my bowl once even if it meant walking to the neighboring property and asking to pick their clover.  Then, as I was staring at the ground hoping for a splash of purple, I saw 3 or 4 blossoms right next to each other.  The only problem was that they were on the other side of the electric fence that I was not a big fan of handling.  But, there were several blossoms just out of my reach.  As I reached for the handle on the electric fence to disconnect it and carefully step over, I was amazed.

After 25 minutes of hunting for clover and yielding enough to make a tincture for a very fertile mouse, I noticed that the whole field ahead of me was full of Red Clover.  Seriously.  Completely full of very purple, very fluffy, Red Clover blossoms.  I almost cried when I saw this sight.  I could fill up my bowl 300 times if I had the patience (and a better back). 

I am not sure that I felt as close to God as I did yesterday.  I am so thankful that God provides us everything that we need!  As I gathered as much clover as I could fit into my bowl, I was thanking God.  I was amazed and hopeful.  I felt connected not only to God but the baby he will bless me with.  I just know that He is with me in this journey!

 

After I came in and told Doug about all of the clover, he went out and brought back two more bowls full!  And, tonight, he will be going out again to harvest some more!  Do you know what this means?!  This means that if you have any interest in buying some, I will have plenty on hand!  If you are itching to start it as soon as possible, drop me an email!  Otherwise, in the near future, I will be announcing the launch of my new herb website and blog.  I have decided that, while the herbs and the trying to conceive things overlap, not everyone is interested in both.  If you are, I hope very much to have you a part of both journeys! 

According to The Wise Woman Herbal for the Childbearing Year, Red Clover is the "single most useful herb for establishing fertility." That is not only good to know, it is great news because of all of the greenery surrounding my house, red clover is one of them. It is everywhere! Actually we have planted some as is is a great pasture legume for our cows. Who knew it would be a great herb for women too!

Before I go on, I want to say a few words about The Wise Woman Herbal for the Childbearing year. This is the book (e-book) that I was so thrilled to get to read and review. I am so excited about all of the information that is packed into this 192 page book! In this book there is all that you would need to know about herbs that promote fertility, are beneficial for pregnancy, and even herbs that are known to help with your newborn, breastfeeding, and postpartum concerns including depression. There are instructions on making tinctures, infusions, and salves. There is also information on herbs that help prevent pregnancy. I really can't even put into words how much I am going to be using this book in the coming weeks and hopefully years.

I will likely be making references to the book, The Childbearing Year, in future posts as well since it really is teaching me everything there is to know about fertility herbs. If you would like to purchase this book, which I suggest you do if you are a woman who has any interest in using herbs (purchased or grown) in any capacity during your quest for children, more children, or looking for all natural means for preventing future pregnancies.* Really a wonderful tool!

Also, I want to give a special thank you to Hill Country Herbalist who helped me out by answering my questions and giving me the confidence to just dive in.

So back to my red clover! I have this stuff growing everywhere so Gavin and I went out and picked as many clover blossoms as we could find. Well... not all of them because we could have been out all day and in a matter of 25 minutes I was drenched in sweat and Gavin said he was ready for a Popsicle. So, we brought in all of the clover and admired our find. Not too bad!


I picked all of the leaves off so that all I had left was the blossoms. There are a lot of tiny baby leaves at the bottom of the blossom so it was somewhat tedious work. Actually, it took me longer to clean them all than it did to pick them! I discarded any blossoms that were too browned or unhealthy looking.


I also met my new least favorite creepy crawly. The blossoms had tons of these almost invisible little spiders that if they didn't bite, I wouldn't have even noticed them! These little suckers drove me crazy the whole time and they were all over the place! No joke... I just had to itch my neck twice as I typed that because I was recalling that awful part of nature.


I packed as many blossoms in a Mason jar as I could. I was a little surprised at how many clover blossoms I managed to fit into one, wide mouth pint jar! I thought for sure I had picked enough to make two separate pints but, after packing the first jar, I may have had enough to fill a small jelly jar but since I didn't have any on hand. I discarded the rest.


Then, I used 80 proof vodka, fighting the temptation to pour a little into a glass of orange juice, to fill in the small amount of space left in the jar until it was completely full. In fact, when I screwed the lid on some vodka did escape from the sides. After reading the Childbearing Year, I would have opted for 100 proof vodka. Next time I will. Aw shucks. It looks like I have a big bottle of 80 proof vodka I need to take care of.


Each day I give my jar a shake and see its progress. Almost immediately the color turned from purple to white. After the first day, the Clover had soaked up quite a bit of the vodka so I topped it off again.


After a few weeks of soaking I will pour off the liquid, squeeze the blossoms to get the alcohol out of them as well and place the liquid into small glass bottles with droppers so that I can start using it! I can't tell you how excited I am to start really doing this. One day I would love to have a whole herbal pharmacy but for now, I'll start with Red Clover!



* Disclaimer* I am not an herbalist. I am not a doctor. I am just a farm girl who likes to grow things and appreciates the medicinal qualities of the herbs that grow around me! While herbs are a wonderful, natural, and God given gift, please consult a professional before experimenting with adding herbs to your health regimen. Also, this book was given to me at no cost but I am not being compensated for this post. My thoughts are 100% my own.

Doug and I went today to get the results from his biopsy. From spending way too much time with Dr. Google we knew that the results could range from him needing a liver transplant due to sever liver damage to needing medical management and monitoring. Thank God that we were on the positive side of the spectrum. Doug will need to continue meds (also the ones responsible for diminishing our likelihood of pregnancy) for at least 6-8 months but then it will just be monitoring and maintenance. His liver is significantly inflamed and has scar tissue as a result. We were told that on the scale of liver health, 4 meaning cirrhosis, Doug is at a 2-3. So, he is doing well and the best news is that he is feeling better and better everyday. The less than fantastic part is that this is a disease that he will have for the rest of his life. He will most likely live a long life but at some point, his liver will eventually lose the fight. We just hope that his liver loses when he is 90+ years old. We appreciate the prayers!

Since pregnancy is probably unlikely until the meds have been discontinued, I have decided that I am going to try something new. So much of the last 5 years of my life have been about fertility, pregnancy, and trying to conceive and I kinda feel like I am on the verge of a breakup with charting. If me and charting were dating, this is the part when I feel like I could go through the motions and we could co-exist but I know that it isn't really a healthy relationship. Nothing is going to come of it so, why not just make a clean break. So I am breaking up with my thermometer for the next 6 months. But, since fertility is really fascinating, herbs are amazing, and I have just found a new love for gardening, I am going to try to grow all of the herbs needed to make a homemade fertility tea! I recognize that I could go to a store, buy all of the herbs in bulk, and make my own tea, but where is the fun in that?

So, I am off to read up on all of the ingredients and order seeds or plants and get this adventure going!

I will hopefully be growing plants for the following ingredients:

• German Chamomile
  
• Nettle Leaf
• Red Raspberry Leaf
• Peppermint Leaf
• Red Clover Leaf (actually already have this growing everywhere!)
• Green Tea
• Chaste Berry

I welcome any advice or experience!!



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I have mentioned using Welcome Womb in my other posts but haven't really spent too much time really talking about it. I am a bit scared to talk about it too much since I know that just because I used it once and had a healthy pregnancy, doesn't mean that it is a miracle cure to recurrent losses. But, on the other hand, I feel guilty keeping it a secret if there are other women who want to try it. I have decided that rather than tip-toe around my use of the herbs, I am going to go ahead and shout from the rooftops that it saved my pregnancy and I couldn't be happier that I tried it. I am almost convinced that without it, I would not have had my Joseph.

I had every test to try and diagnose a cause for my recurrent losses. My GP, OB, and RE all ran various tests searching for a reason that I couldn't stay pregnant for more than a few weeks. Aside from being heterozygous for MTHFR and PAI-1, they were all in normal ranges. My RE prescribed progesterone suppositories that I used from Ovulation on and when I got pregnant I continued the suppositories. I kept testing to see if the lines on the pregnancy tests would get darker and they did. For a while. Then they stopped. As they got lighter, I knew that the only reason I wasn't bleeding was the progesterone. They ran a blood test and confirmed that I had miscarried. As soon as I stopped the progesterone, I bled.

The next time I tried lovenox injection and the progesterone. Same thing happened. I miscarried again. Over the 18 months of trying, getting pregnant, and miscarrying, I had tried every combination and variation of medical methods to stay pregnant. Nothing was working. I was so devastated. I was so tired of getting "pregnant" only to have a week of hormonal outbursts and stress only to end with spotting, bleeding, or betas dropping. I had quit thinking of cute ways to tell my husband that I was pregnant. I would simply show him a positive test and tell him not to get too excited. I was just tired of the roller coaster.

I had read on a message board about Welcome Womb where women had tried it and stayed pregnant. After being willing to inject myself with blood thinners leaving bruises all over myself, and shoving progesterone in places that are rarely discussed outside of TTC (trying to conceive), and swallowing handfuls of pills, vitamins, and any other suggested item, why would I stop at herbs?

When I got pregnant again I told my RE that I didn't want to do the Lovenox. He agreed. I told him that I didn't want to use the progesterone. If I was going to bleed, I wanted to just bleed. I didn't want to have to wonder if I had lost the baby but just wasn't bleeding because of the suppositories. He thought I should use the Progesterone but wouldn't think I was horrible if I opted out. I did opt out. I took my vitamins, baby aspirin, and folic acid and started the Welcome Womb as soon as it arrived in the mail.

My first 2 betas were done before I was able to to start the herbs. They were 14.5 on 12 dpo, 24.5 on 14dpo, and then 51.4 on 16dpo. I started the herbs the afternoon of 16dpo. On 18dpo my beta jumped to 124. I have to think that it was the herbs that helped my HCG finally climb to the levels they were supposed to be. Then, I actually made it far enough to schedule my first ultrasound to hopefully see a heartbeat.

When I was 6 weeks 4 days pregnant I went to the RE and, for the first time since Gavin, I heard that breathtaking sound of a heartbeat. The fact that Joseph is here now is all the proof I needed that the Welcome Womb worked for me. This time.

I fully intend on trying it again when I get pregnant. I am not selling Welcome Womb. I am not affiliated with the company in any way. I am just a mother who was able to bring home a baby after losing 6 in a row. How can I not want to share this possible solution to recurrent losses with everyone? I am not saying that it will work for everyone and I did use it with my doctor's blessing. I am now looking forward to learning if it will work a second time. I will post my experiences when I have an opportunity to try it again.



God gives us all that is green.

I don't think anyone realizes exactly how long 9 months really is until they are pregnant. On TV a pregnancy only last 4 episodes. The one where they find out they are pregnant. Then the one where they have an ultrasound to find out the gender. Then the one where they are giant, uncomfortable, swollen, and highly irritable. Then, of course, the one where they deliver a happy, healthy baby. In real life, not to point out the obvious, but 9 months is only 3 months shy of a whole year! That is 40 episodes! I think it might even feel like a bit longer when faced with the fact that giving birth to a live baby is the only sure thing when it comes to pregnancy and bringing home a baby.

The early weeks crept by. I continued taking the Welcome Womb each day depite it tasting like licking a bar room floor. I do not know if it was related to the herbs but I did have significant morning sickness. I would often throw up shortly after most meals. While not by ideal means, I did manage to lose 5 pounds! I was going to Dr. Mooney's office weekly and getting to peek at the baby. Every visit was a challenge though since I knew that there was always a chance that the doctor would have bad news. Almost like an drug addict, I would feel a rush when I knew my appointment was coming up. I would anticipate how wonderful it would feel to get the reassurance I needed to get through another week. Then, as I would wait in the office, I would start to feel the nerves of what would I do if they told me that there was no more baby. Thankfully, I never had to wait too long so I would get my ultrasound fix then get to go on my merry way until a few days later when I would start to crave my next ultrasound.

Christmas was approaching and I had one gift topping my list. I wanted a Home Doppler
so that I could listen to my baby from the comfort of my own home. I didn't want to have to wait a week to be reassured. I wanted instant gratification when it came to knowing my baby was still alive. I told Doug what I wanted and thankfully he thought it would be a good idea. Since I had an appointment on Christmas Eve for an ultrasound I was able to wait a few days before trying out my new toy. I wasn't able to find the heartbeat right away but I also didn't think to ask for ultrasound gel for Christmas. After getting some gel a few days later, I managed to hear the heartbeat while laying in my own living room. It was the best Christmas gift ever. I was able to have peace of mind every day if I needed it.

At 13 weeks I graduated form Dr. Mooney to the care of my regular OB. It was then that it started to hit me that there was a baby in my tummy. Walking into Dr. Nannapaneni's office again, this time pregnant, was like walking into a old friends house. Instead of being asked my name at the window like every other time I had been to the office, I was greeted by my name and smiles all around. It felt really nice to be happy again and, dare I say, confident.

With my previous losses I thought that if I prayed hard enough, often enough, and sincere enough I would finally get to stay pregnant and have a baby. Each time that I would start spotting, lose my symptoms, or lose hope that the pregnancy was progressing I would find myself asking God, "Please. Please. Please let me stay pregnant. We want this baby. Please make the bleeding stop and let everything be okay." When I would go on to miscarry, I wouldn't be angry at God, just confused as to why he didn't give me what I asked for. Then it occurred to me that God isn't Santa Claus. He isn't a genie in a lamp. He doesn't grant wishes or command little elves to perform miracles. He gives us only what we need and what He wills us to have. It was really hard, at first, to pray for God's will knowing full well that it may be His will for me to never have a second child. But, I knew that His will was what I should ask for. I also began asking for patience and understanding for when His will isn't easy for me to handle.

We prayed for God's will every night. I also began using the Welcome Womb that arrived in the mail after just a few days. I used it immediately. After less than 48 hours of using the herbs, my blood HCG went from barely doubling to clearly doubling and then some. It could have been a fluke but it gave me a confidence I had never had before. When I told Doug about the results of the most recent blood test and how I was starting to think that these herbs were going to work he reminded me that, "God gives us all that is green." Ironically, I was willing to eat grass from the yard had I thought it would keep me pregnant.

Each morning and night I would take the herbs. They are simply awful tasting. Just thinking about the taste kind of makes me gag. But I choked them down using whatever means necessary. I tried taking them like a shot- not recommended. I tried them in fruit juices- also disgusting. I settled on strongly brewed peppermint tea with a lot of honey. It still wasn't tasty but I could get it down.

A couple of weeks later we went to Dr. Mooney's office for a viability ultrasound. I was about 6 weeks 4 days. Within seconds of starting the ultrasound we saw the little baby with a flicker of a heartbeat. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry that we finally got to see a baby. Then Dr. Mooney pushed a few buttons and all of the sudden the room was filled with the sound of our little baby's heartbeat echoing all around us. I never thought that day would come. Just as soon as I was ready to celebrate by doing a hula dance wearing nothing but the stunning paper sheet, Dr. Mooney reminded us, "This is a great start but we aren't out of the woods yet."

Ah. Sweet reality.

In October of 2010, Doug and I would be celebrating our 4th wedding anniversary. It was hard to imagine that 4 years had already passed. I guess the saying holds true that time flies when you are having fun. According to my charts and calendars I was also due to ovulate on our anniversary so I figured that we would at least have a chance of having another positive pregnancy test in a few weeks. If we didn't, we had our appointment to receive the results from our genetic testing at beginning of November. Our anniversary was right around the corner and Doug broke the news to me that he has to be in Canada for business. At first I was sad just to learn that he would be away for our anniversary. Then I was a little extra heartbroken that I was going to ovulate when I was home all alone. Another month was going to pass with no baby 9 months later but again, at least we would be getting some answers. Well, I had hoped so.

If I wasn't already convinced that God has his hand in everything then I was that month. I was taking my temperature every morning and as Doug was out of town I waited for my temperature to rise indicating, for sure, that we had missed our chance. My temperature slowly ticked upward each morning but not enough that I could throw in the towel for that month. It was Friday and Doug was due home that night so on a whim, I took and ovulation test only to get the most positive result I had ever had in my 18 months of trying. I called Doug and made sure he "saved some energy" for when he came home. The rest of the month, I continued to take my temperature but never, unlike every other month in my charting career, had a significant rise in temperature. I had no idea if or when I really ovulated since all I could go on was one OPK.

A little less than 2 weeks later I was eager for Doug and I to meet with Dr. Mooney to get the results from the testing. I was sure that something must be wrong with one or both of us. I certainly didn't want this to be the case but at least with that information in hand, we could get a real handle on what was happening and what our options were. The day before the appointment I took a home pregnancy test just to rule out, for sure, that we were pregnant. There appeared a ghostly shadow of a line.

"Seriously?!" I asked myself. "Again?!"

I wanted more than anything to be pregnant but I was sure that I was just going to miscarry. Again.

The next day, I took another test and the line was darker! I had unavoidable feelings of hopefulness but with an overwhelming sense of dread. It was like driving in fog to an unknown destination. But into that car I climbed. For now, the destination was Dr. Mooney's office for the results.

Normal. Both normal. Unbelievable. We must have the worst luck in the world! Still no explanation for 6 consecutive losses and here we are with yet another, likely doomed, pregnancy. We talked with Dr. Mooney about what to do with the next cycle if/when we miscarried again.

We talked about green beans. Canned green beans. No joke. I asked him if there was anything I could do to improve the quality of my eggs and he referred to my eggs as 33 year old canned green beans. There was nothing I could do to make them younger, look better, or more appealing. At my request, he agreed that we could try Clomid to try to produce a couple more eggs. I think his words were, "Sure. We can throw a few more at the wall and see if at least one will stick. It would improve the odds, I suppose."

Before leaving we did talk about our plan of action with the current pregnancy on the off chance we could make it last. I decided to not use the progesterone suppositories since they hadn't worked in the past and all they seemed to do was prolong the inevitable miscarriage by tricking my body into thinking I was still pregnant. We were also going to skip the Lovenox injections since they were very expensive, not fun to administer to oneself, and failed to keep me pregnant the last time. I decided that I was just going to take my vitamins and baby aspirin. Then, I asked Dr. Mooney about herbs. He said that he didn't think that there was any harm in trying but without saying as much, I don't think he had much faith in them.

That afternoon I ordered the herbs that claimed to prevent miscarriage. I had read testimonials from women that had used these herbs and went on to have happy and healthy pregnancies so I figured, why not give it a shot. Nothing else had worked. I ordered the herbs and waited for them to arrive.