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God has blessed me tremendously with an amazing husband, Doug, and two gorgeous little boys, Gavin and Joey. It has always been a dream of mine to have a large family but God may have other plans. I had a series of 6 consecutive early miscarriages when trying for baby #2. We are currently trying for baby #3 after our 7th miscarriage. I am faithful that God's plan is perfect, even when I am not happy about it. I love comments and meeting new followers so please don't be shy!

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Thursday, January 13, 2011

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

I don't think anyone realizes exactly how long 9 months really is until they are pregnant. On TV a pregnancy only last 4 episodes. The one where they find out they are pregnant. Then the one where they have an ultrasound to find out the gender. Then the one where they are giant, uncomfortable, swollen, and highly irritable. Then, of course, the one where they deliver a happy, healthy baby. In real life, not to point out the obvious, but 9 months is only 3 months shy of a whole year! That is 40 episodes! I think it might even feel like a bit longer when faced with the fact that giving birth to a live baby is the only sure thing when it comes to pregnancy and bringing home a baby.

The early weeks crept by. I continued taking the Welcome Womb each day depite it tasting like licking a bar room floor. I do not know if it was related to the herbs but I did have significant morning sickness. I would often throw up shortly after most meals. While not by ideal means, I did manage to lose 5 pounds! I was going to Dr. Mooney's office weekly and getting to peek at the baby. Every visit was a challenge though since I knew that there was always a chance that the doctor would have bad news. Almost like an drug addict, I would feel a rush when I knew my appointment was coming up. I would anticipate how wonderful it would feel to get the reassurance I needed to get through another week. Then, as I would wait in the office, I would start to feel the nerves of what would I do if they told me that there was no more baby. Thankfully, I never had to wait too long so I would get my ultrasound fix then get to go on my merry way until a few days later when I would start to crave my next ultrasound.

Christmas was approaching and I had one gift topping my list. I wanted a Home Doppler
so that I could listen to my baby from the comfort of my own home. I didn't want to have to wait a week to be reassured. I wanted instant gratification when it came to knowing my baby was still alive. I told Doug what I wanted and thankfully he thought it would be a good idea. Since I had an appointment on Christmas Eve for an ultrasound I was able to wait a few days before trying out my new toy. I wasn't able to find the heartbeat right away but I also didn't think to ask for ultrasound gel for Christmas. After getting some gel a few days later, I managed to hear the heartbeat while laying in my own living room. It was the best Christmas gift ever. I was able to have peace of mind every day if I needed it.

At 13 weeks I graduated form Dr. Mooney to the care of my regular OB. It was then that it started to hit me that there was a baby in my tummy. Walking into Dr. Nannapaneni's office again, this time pregnant, was like walking into a old friends house. Instead of being asked my name at the window like every other time I had been to the office, I was greeted by my name and smiles all around. It felt really nice to be happy again and, dare I say, confident.

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