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God has blessed me tremendously with an amazing husband, Doug, and two gorgeous little boys, Gavin and Joey. It has always been a dream of mine to have a large family but God may have other plans. I had a series of 6 consecutive early miscarriages when trying for baby #2. We are currently trying for baby #3 after our 7th miscarriage. I am faithful that God's plan is perfect, even when I am not happy about it. I love comments and meeting new followers so please don't be shy!

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Friday, February 24, 2012

No Miracle Today

Gavin's church based preschool has been learning about the miracles.  He can name each that they have covered thus far.  He will tell me that Jesus turned water into wine.  He made the paralyzed man walk.  He fed 5000 people with 2 fish and 5 loaves of bread.  He calmed the storm.  Tuesday he learned about how he healed the blind man and gave him sight. 

Yesterday after the bleeding had started, I was trying to remain calm but not doing a very good job.  Doug came home from work to support me.  My parents came over and offered to pick up Gavin from preschool.  While it was nice of them to offer, my heart needed that time with Gavin.  It is a short drive but his sweet voice (that sometimes never lets me get a word in) was what I needed to help me feel better.  So I left Joey with my mom and picked up Gavin. 

I walked with him back to the truck and as per my usual I asked him about his day.  He usually tells me about what he had for snack, who was sick today, or who got in trouble.  Yesterday his response brought me to tears.  He said, "No miracle today, Mommy."

Even while I wanted to be the exception to the rule with the cramping, bleeding, and loss of symptoms, I knew I wouldn't be.  No miracle today. 

I went to get an ultrasound to make sure it wasn't an ectopic pregnancy.  My levels are now 53.  While devastated that this pregnancy is surly over, I am happy that I will be able to be able to drink an ice cold beer tonight. 

I really can't put into words how much your support, comments and prayers mean to me.  From the bottom of my heart, thank you. 

Mmm... beer. 


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