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God has blessed me tremendously with an amazing husband, Doug, and two gorgeous little boys, Gavin and Joey. It has always been a dream of mine to have a large family but God may have other plans. I had a series of 6 consecutive early miscarriages when trying for baby #2. We are currently trying for baby #3 after our 7th miscarriage. I am faithful that God's plan is perfect, even when I am not happy about it. I love comments and meeting new followers so please don't be shy!

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Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Dateline, The Price is Right, and My Vagina

Having a hard time seeing how these three things could all be in one post? Oh, are you ever in for a fun ride!?

At about the same time as Doug and I put a TV in our bedroom, my obsession with all things crime TV began. I like having the TV on for background noise but I learned that certain shows would prevent me from falling asleep since they were too flashy or entertaining. With crime TV shows, I could count on a few things. First, someone would be killed. The manner of death would fluctuate but the plot was pretty easy to anticipate. Second, despite the subject matter, the narration was like being read a bedtime story. A very creepy, mysterious, cliff hanger of a bedtime story. And third, if I was still awake by the end of the story, I could feel like I solved the mystery. Spoiler alert! It is either the spouse, the lover, or the lover's spouse. Mystery solved.

One night, as I was drifting off to dream land listening to the familiar story of a husband on trial for the murder of his wife, I heard something that made me sit up in bed. Despite the volume being turned to an almost inaudible level, I recognized a name from a friend in high school. It was a common name, but then I heard her voice. It was unmistakably the voice of a long lost high school friend. I sat up and looked at her and as she sat on the witness stand testifying about the forensics of the case, I saw her in the backdrop of our former school. I heard her laugh. I remembered everything. She was famous! Okay, really, she was only on TV for about 8 seconds but I have never claimed to be the most rational of people. I was so excited to see someone on TV that I knew, I was practically bouncing in the bed trying to wake up Doug so I could point her out. By the transitive property, I was famous too! Doug didn't seem to think so. He was mostly annoyed that I woke him up out of a dead sleep to tell him that I saw a girl I went to high school with whose name I had never even mentioned before in a conversation. I, on the other hand, couldn't wait to look her up on facebook and tell her I saw her on TV and ask for an autograph. Hmm... she never did accept my friend request.

When Joey was a newborn, Gavin and I had gotten into the habit of watching The Price is Right everyday at lunch time. Gavin likes to see the cars, motorcycles, and other prizes and I like that he is learning some important concepts like more and less, higher and lower, and higher order numbers. One day, as we were eating lunch, I began listening to the words of an advertisement about pregnancy and the desire to be a parent. I looked up from my turkey sandwich to see a big round baby bump, a beaming expectant mom, and then, I saw him. It was my fertility doctor. His face was looking kindly at me through the television and, all of the sudden, I felt bad for him. He looked like an afternoon injury lawyer, smiling reassuringly to sad and hurting people who wanted compensated for their pain. He is such a kind and authentic person and I felt like I needed to explain to all of Ohio that his office isn't a scam. On this weekday morning, sandwiched between a plug for life insurance and a blood pressure medication commercial, my doctor's face seemed misplaced. He is totally worthy of prime time advertisement.

Then my earth shattering, completely irrational, but nonetheless true observation took place. This man on my TV had seen my vagina. To be honest, it was a little awkward. I felt embarrassed. The whole world... okay just Ohio... but still... has now seen this man who has seen my vagina. But, just like the Dateline episode, I realized that by the transitive property, my vagina was famous too! Yep, my vagina is practically on TV twice a month now. Oh crap. There is the paparazzi.

I have finally called my RE's office and have an appointment scheduled for next week. I am looking forward to feeling like I am moving toward something. Between my upcoming appointment, the Organic Fertility Bible giveaway that is going on now, and the giveaways that are coming soon (including but not limited to pregnancy tests, ovulation tests, washable feminine pads, and one other very exciting item that I want to keep a secret until tomorrow) I am feeling good for being on cycle day 3!

Do you know anyone famous? Either a real celebrity or famous because they were a contestant on The Price is Right and played Plinko?


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