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God has blessed me tremendously with an amazing husband, Doug, and two gorgeous little boys, Gavin and Joey. It has always been a dream of mine to have a large family but God may have other plans. I had a series of 6 consecutive early miscarriages when trying for baby #2. We are currently trying for baby #3 after our 7th miscarriage. I am faithful that God's plan is perfect, even when I am not happy about it. I love comments and meeting new followers so please don't be shy!

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Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Table For Five?

Since I was a little girl, like most other little girls, I always wanted to be a mom. I do remember thinking that being pregnant would be quite scary. Not because I would be responsible for another life but for the fact that there would be a human living inside of me for 9 months, kicking me the whole time. Then there was the issue of needing to push that human out of a very small hole. How frightening. Little did I know how much I would love being pregnant.

I won't pretend like I enjoyed throwing up routinely. I didn't particularly like the hip and back pain especially when trying to get some rest. Also not a big fan of needing to go to the bathroom more often than those people on the commercials with urinary frequency issues. Along those lines, I also didn't enjoy having to clench every muscle I had when I sneezed to prevent peeing myself and needing to carry extra underwear, like my 2 year old, in the event a sneeze snuck up on me. What I just can't seem to get enough of is the awareness of the amazing miracle that is taking place during a pregnancy. The fact that 2 microscopic things came together and forms a human being complete with functioning organs and limbs grown inside of me. Then we get to meet this little person that is part of us. To me, it is just almost too profound and thrilling to put it into words. Just miraculous.

So, while most families these days would be finished after having two children I just can't imagine living the rest of my life without getting to experience pregnancy again... at least once. I certainly have my hands full with two children but I am eager to expand our family. Since my cycles have returned to pretty close to normal we have actively started trying for number three.

With as much as I want to have more babies I must admit that I fear getting pregnant. I am so hopeful that my history of recurrent miscarriages is behind me since discovering the Welcome Womb, but my rational brain also reminds me that just because I had a successful pregnancy using the herbs, doesn't mean the herbs are what did it. Could have just been coexisting variables but I truly hope that wasn't the case. Nevertheless, even if I do have to go down the road of miscarriage again, I know that the journey is so worth experiencing the miracle of life again.


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