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God has blessed me tremendously with an amazing husband, Doug, and two gorgeous little boys, Gavin and Joey. It has always been a dream of mine to have a large family but God may have other plans. I had a series of 6 consecutive early miscarriages when trying for baby #2. We are currently trying for baby #3 after our 7th miscarriage. I am faithful that God's plan is perfect, even when I am not happy about it. I love comments and meeting new followers so please don't be shy!

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Tuesday, March 29, 2011

A Pregnancy of the Bogus Variety

In my years of trying to create my family, I have come across my share of women who have had what I believe to be bogus pregnancies. They fall into one of two categories. The innocent wishful thinkers and the attention seeking fakers.

The wishful thinkers are the one who are usually very new to the trying to conceive scene. They have never payed any attention to their cycles because the only part that ever mattered was when their period showed up. They worried that it would fall on the day of their much anticipated first date, or threaten to ruin a much needed vacation to the beach. If at any point in their cycle they got a headache, they took a Tylenol. If they had cramps, they took a Women's Tylenol. If their period was especially heavy they complained to their co workers about PMS and feeling lousy but, like most normal people, didn't inspect the contents of the toilet or the toilet paper.

As soon as they have unprotected sex for the first time they begin the frenzy of over analyzing every possible symptom of early pregnancy. Dr. Google tells them that some women have implantation cramping. Then, like they have never had before, they have some cramping! Then Dr. Google tells them that some women get headaches early in pregnancy due to the fluctuation in hormone levels. Then, oh my goodness! They have had a headache for the past few days, right? Then Dr. Google seals the pregnancy deal by saying that some women who miscarry very early will go on to have a normal period with cramps and possibly some clotting.

Sadly, a lot of women then, for some unknown reason, want to believe that they were pregnant. Even if it was just for a moment because all of those symptoms couldn't have been just a regular period showing up right on time. They must have been pregnant. Despite having taken pregnancy tests nearly every day and never getting a positive test, they are still convinced that they were pregnant.

It shouldn't bother me. I know. It isn't a contest but somehow I feel like my really early losses are regarded as me just being crazy and thinking I was pregnant. I totally understand the desire to be pregnant as much as the next girl but without at least a positive pregnancy test, there is no pregnancy. Otherwise, every month of trying could be interpreted as a miscarriage by someone who just really wants that baby but gets Aunt Flo instead.

Now the second category of fakers really gets my blood boiling. These are the women who knowingly never got a positive pregnancy test but claim they have. They may have really really wanted to see a line on a test. They may have even thought that maybe they could imagine a line on a test at one point. Granted, the cheap internet pregnancy tests that often will show a line where the positive line should be but it will never show up in the time limit when there is no real pregnancy. It can't be called a positive pregnancy test and anyone who uses those tests knows this.These women seem to just want people to feel bad for them and they think that accumulating miscarriages is the way to do it. Again, not a contest. But when I see this happen, I fear that people will think that I am doing this. I do not want a trophy for the most losses. I hope my number of losses stays right where it is. But, if I do have another loss along the way, I want people to know that I am being authentic. I will need support. I will not make up a miscarriage. It isn't fair to women who are going through the real thing every single day.

I am officially done venting. At least about this. For now.


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