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- Maria
- God has blessed me tremendously with an amazing husband, Doug, and two gorgeous little boys, Gavin and Joey. It has always been a dream of mine to have a large family but God may have other plans. I had a series of 6 consecutive early miscarriages when trying for baby #2. We are currently trying for baby #3 after our 7th miscarriage. I am faithful that God's plan is perfect, even when I am not happy about it. I love comments and meeting new followers so please don't be shy!
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Monday, February 28, 2011
My Place Is In the Home
I know that this might be a controversial post. I am not trying to offend anyone. Please feel free to comment and share your thoughts with me. Even if they aren't similar.Ever since I told friends and family that I planned to stay home with my children (whenever they came into the picture) I heard one of two things. Either I was commended for choosing to stay home and raise my children, or, usually from other mothers or mothers to be, I would hear how they wished they could stay home with their children but they have to work due to financial reasons. I always bite my tongue when I hear the latter.
What financial reasons? I would argue that it is cheaper to stay home. I save the money on gas, childcare, and work attire. It's true. I own one pair of high heels. I wore them once. I spend most every day in either sweatpants, jeans, or sometimes, pajamas. I would never win any fashion contest. I have used the same jeans and sweaters for 5 years. My children wear hand-me-downs from their older cousins. They don't have picturesque bedrooms. They have a place to sleep, a place for clothes, and a place to sit. Don't get me wrong. They aren't slumming it but while I would love to have window seats and bookshelves from Pottery Barn Kids, they have $10.00 bookshelves from Walmart. They serve the intended purpose. We don't go on cruises, get manicures, or drive luxury automobiles. Our big date nights usually include doing our grocery shopping and picking up some Chinese carry-out. We can food, bake bread, make pasta, and have a garden to save money. We do what we need to do in order to make it possible for me to stay home.
Being a mom is the best job in the world and I wouldn't have it any other way. I love knowing that I am the person raising my children every hour of every day. So,when those moms say that they have to work, I don't want to offend them but I think they have their priorities misaligned. I would much rather clip coupons, vacation on my living room floor with a movie, hunt for bargains and sales, wear 6 year old sweat pants, and be a good parent for the rest of my life. I don't doubt that working moms love their children. I just think that moms belong at home. Money is not a good enough excuse for not parenting your children. All day. Every day.
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2 comments:
This comment was sent to me via e-mail and I wanted to share. Thanks Kattie!
I Just started reading your blog (when I get the chance) and I just wanted to say that this of all posts I've had the time to read, really hit home and made my eyes gloss over (doesn't take much for me lol). It's hard work to be able to stay at home. I often come down on myself for all the second hand things I open arms to. Society makes us feel like we are cheaping out on our kids for not buying baby gap clothes or not taking them on awesome vacas every summer and being unable to buy name brand groceries (side note-most NB co. are in fact the makers of store label items). I try to take pride in all of my purchases when I find a deal. In fact, most people are stunned when they see my nursery pieced from garage sales, 2nd hand stores, or just hand made by myself. It's hard to ignore the criticism when your kitchen is original of the time period the house was built in or that yes, my car is 9yrs old and has weathered every OHIO winter.
Even if money hardships became too much, I'd look into taking up a weekend shift when My husband is home before looking into daycare. I will not work for daycare-as in: I go to work so I can pay someone else to watch my kids. This makes no sense to me. To me, "some" women use this as an out for not raising their own kids b/c guess what, children and a house hold are WORK! With the exception of single mothers of course. As for myself, I only get new clothes when they are gifted to me. I'm fine with that. Although I really should weed out my high school clothes, Not really pulling them off with my age and 2nd time around postpartum body.
There isn't a route that I haven't explored to save money. From making my own diapers to only eating the veggies I grow. I even take advantage of community awareness deals. Sad but true, I can get some care for my kids and animals cheaper thru County offers then with my health insurance. In the end, I really hope that my children appreciate the experience of growing up at home instead of a giant playpen full of strangers. Even if that meant that they never had the latest toys or new clothes. I always new I wanted to be a Mom. Even if that meant "just" a mom. I didn't continue my education for this reason. I feel like I saved a ton in student loans and in the future when my children are at school, I'll work whatever job that allows me to be home before they leave in the morning and waiting for them when they get home even if that means cleaning up after other people. You will never have enough money. You can only live within the means you have. I thank God and my husband daily for the life I have even if it isn't cut out from a magazine.
I am with you here. I love staying home, and spending time with my kids. Plus, work just seems like too much... work.
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