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God has blessed me tremendously with an amazing husband, Doug, and two gorgeous little boys, Gavin and Joey. It has always been a dream of mine to have a large family but God may have other plans. I had a series of 6 consecutive early miscarriages when trying for baby #2. We are currently trying for baby #3 after our 7th miscarriage. I am faithful that God's plan is perfect, even when I am not happy about it. I love comments and meeting new followers so please don't be shy!

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Tuesday, February 1, 2011

But I Want to be a Dinosaur, Mom!

Over the past few years I have heard several stories about parents, who, in some capacity, support their little boys dressing like little girls. Every time this topic comes up I really wish that I could take their mom into a dark alley and offer her a cup of coffee and a tongue lashing. No matter how many times I hear them explain how they came to the decision that it was okay for their young child to cross dress I am still utterly baffled.

It is our job as parents to lead, teach, guide, and support our children on their path of life and this is just one example of many where many children today are allowed to make adult decisions and the parents stand back and say, "Well, I want my child to like me. I know it isn't the best decision but what is wrong with my kid being happy?" I hate to be the master of the obvious but kids aren't that smart. They aren't thinking about anything other than immediate gratification. It is our job as parents to make the decisions that keep them safe and healthy. If happiness can also be made a part of that equation while not jeopardizing their health and safety, then great.
When a young boy wants to wear a dress around the house, eh, okay. Probably not my preference as a parent of two boys, but I am not going to make it into anything larger than it is. When my 3 year old tells me that his crayon pouch is his "purse", again, not a big deal. When he wants to wear a dress to the grocery store and carry a purse, that is where it is our job as parents to model for him appropriate gender roles and explain that, "Ladies wear dresses, honey. Boys get to wear pants. And mommies (or women) use purses. Boys use wallets to carry money. Maybe Daddy has an extra wallet he can show you how to use!" Issue over. If it is brought up again, same explanation. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Now I know that the moms of the boys dressing like girls would say, "But it wasn't like that! He was heartbroken when I said no to the pink tutu. He was really devastated!" Over that cup of coffee, this would be my alternative scenario. What if your son wanted to wear a Barney the Dinosaur costume? Not just around the house but everywhere. To school everyday. To the mall. To grandma's house. Would this be okay? My guess is that most people would say that it isn't appropriate to wear a Halloween costume everyday. What about if you had a little girl who wanted to wear a bathing suit to school... in Ohio.... in February.... I don't think any parent with any common sense would hesitate to say, "No Way!" I don't see how this is any different. Regardless of what kind of tantrum, tears, and heartbreak would follow the answer would still be no.

I just wish that parents weren't so concerned about their kids liking them. If they like us all the time then we are not doing our job. I am not saying that we need to be mean or abusive but our kids deserve (and actually want and need) to have limits and boundaries set for them. We are responsible for molding their behavior and actions to be appropriate for our world. It isn't appropriate for our boys to go into Target dressed like a dinosaur. Our daughters won't wear bikinis to WalMart in winter (or ever!). And when our young men want to wear a sundress to the grocery store, the answer should always be no. They might cry now but when they are well adjusted adults they will thank us for not allowing them to look like fools in public.

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