When I had my first miscarriage I had to get my blood levels drawn every couple of days. I hated that each time I went to the lab, I had to look down at the piece of paper in my hand that read, "Missed Abortion." I know that in the medical community that the terms abortion and miscarriage are interchangeable, but there is nothing more devastating than to feel like my loss was an abortion. To me, and most of the world, an abortion is when the mother chooses to terminate her pregnancy. I didn't have any choice in this. I was having a miscarriage.

Since my first loss, I have become very sensitive to not just the term "abortion," but the fact that so many women were actually choosing to abort their babies while I, a very willing and able mother, couldn't carry to term the babies that I very much wanted. Many say that abortion should be a choice left up to the woman. After all, it is her body, right? I didn't get to make that choice? I have come to grips with my losses, but I still detest my losses being referred to as abortions.

I do think, since it is our body, that we should be given the choice. I believe that we have a choice every time we choose to have sex. I don't mean just "unprotected" sex because we know that abstinence is the only sure thing when it comes to avoiding pregnancy. If a woman chooses to have sex, regardless of birth control methods, then part of that choice is the potential that she may become pregnant. A result of pregnancy is becoming a mother, God willing. That is the choice that I believe every woman should be able to make.

While men should be a part of that decision before the fun begins, sadly they often choose in the moment and when that moment is over... "Uh... I didn't sign up to be a dad. This is your problem." I think that women (or girls) should take this into consideration when choosing to have sex. She is choosing, as she decides to take part in the fun, that she could be a single mom raising a baby on her own. You would think that that would take the "fun" right out of it.

I know. I know. What about when the woman doesn't get a choice regarding having sex? What about rape? This, while it may seem to be an odd time to bring up God in this discussion, is when I really look to Him. The odds of a woman becoming pregnant from a single sexual assault
are 2-4%. Based on the statistics for a couple trying to achieve pregnancy there is a 15 to 25% chance of becoming pregnant each ovulatory cycle. Based on a 28 day cycle a woman has approximately a 17% chance of being victimized on a day that could potentially lead to pregnancy. So with this information, one could estimate that odds of a woman becoming pregnant from a single occurrence of rape is only 2-4%. Factoring in the odds that as many as 40-50 percent of women have early miscarriages, often before they even knew they were pregnant, means that 1-2% would truly be faced with a pregnancy. So with those statistics in mind, God must really want that life to be created. Everything happens for a reason and maybe that child who is a product of rape is sent from God to our Earth to cure cancer or AIDS or some other currently untreatable disease. God doesn't make mistakes. Saying that women should be able to choose to abort their babies is quite likely what is preventing us from saving the lives of children, mothers, fathers, and spouses who are dying, waiting for a cure.

It saddens me that millions of babies are being killed by choice and then, there are women, like me, that have to walk around with a piece of paper that reminds them that they are unwillingly losing the baby that they tried for weeks, months, and for some, years, to create. In these cases, these women would chose life every single time. Guaranteed. I wish every woman would.