Gavin and my niece.

When we started trying for baby number 3, I never ever thought that I would find myself still wading through infertility.  So when we began using clomid and doing monitored cycles, I felt like I had just plunged into the real world of real women who were dealing with infertility.  But, as strange as it may sound, I felt like a visitor.  Like I wasn't really infertile.  I was just borrowing some of their meds and technology.  Turns out I am just as infertile as the next lady who can't get pregnant. 

A few months ago I started bringing up the topic of IUI with Doug.  I wasn't trying to coerce him.  To be honest, I really wasn't sold on it myself.  I think I just wanted to have the topic was on the table for discussion.  Then, one afternoon I was out running errands and Joey was having a rare quiet moment in the back seat thus leaving me alone with my thoughts it came to me.
Like a clear message intended only for me, I knew we were supposed to try the IUI.  Then almost as fast as that came to me I felt "You need two cycles."    That night, I told Doug that I feel like we are supposed to try IUI.  I can't remember my exact words but I explained that it was in God's hands and that He could still decide if we got pregnant or not.  I just felt like we were supposed to do this.  Even if it was just to teach us something. 

While I so much wanted to be pregnant from the IUIs, I can't help but notice that it was on our second cycle that we figured out that my uterine lining was not sufficient for pregnancy.  That must have been why we needed "two cycles".  That is what was needed to show me the missing piece.  It was my lining.  My crappy lining could very well be the reason for the my last 4 years worth of infertility and 8 total early miscarriages.    If only we had known this earlier.... but we didn't. 

While the IUIs weren't successful in getting me pregnant, they did teach me something.  So for that reason, I consider my IUIs a success.  They will play a part in my getting pregnant... whenever that happens. 

This cycle we are using the Femara again.  This medication helped my lining go from 5.4 to 10.9 which is practically ideal for pregnancy.  I feel like now that my lining is normal, we don't need the IUI.  We just need to wait for the right sperm to meet the right egg.  We are also going to do one other thing differently (most likely anyway... I haven't officially told the doctor my wishes).  I am going to trigger with half of the amount of hCG as I have in the past.  The perk of that is that it will be out of my system in half of the time and I won't have to play the "is this the trigger or a BFP" game.  That will hopefully help my sanity which is running a little short lately.  

The Cousins

I'll update next week!  Enjoy Thanksgiving to my fellow Americans!  To my international readers... If there isn't Thanksgiving do you have Black Friday?