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God has blessed me tremendously with an amazing husband, Doug, and two gorgeous little boys, Gavin and Joey. It has always been a dream of mine to have a large family but God may have other plans. I had a series of 6 consecutive early miscarriages when trying for baby #2. We are currently trying for baby #3 after our 7th miscarriage. I am faithful that God's plan is perfect, even when I am not happy about it. I love comments and meeting new followers so please don't be shy!

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Monday, November 26, 2012

It's not me. It's totally you.

I went today for my cycle day 12 ultrasound and was lucky to have my high school pal, who from here on out I will call P, instead of my regular RE.  It is sort of "the luck of the draw" as to what doctor you get since they all rotate between locations.  It seems that my RE and P are the only two that are at the location I prefer.  But, I was thrilled when the nurse said, "P will be right in!" 

She did the scan while I made small talk about her growing baby bump.  In the middle of a sentence she nearly shouted, "Maria!  Your lining looks AWESOME!"  She moved the screen so I could see and she pointed out how I had the triple stripe pattern which indicates wonderful structure.  She also told me that my lining was a healthy 8.5 mm.  That was the perfect lead in for some questions that have been rolling around in my head.
A uterus with good structure resembles a feather.

Without getting into all of the details there was a long talk all revolving around how and when to break up with my doctor.  I can't help but be a little annoyed that after a YEAR of fertility treatment, my doctor never once thought to try to improve my lining.  It isn't like I had a flop cycle where my lining sucked.  It was every time he measured it!  The best I ever had was a 7, I think.  I can't justify the fact that he continued to allow me to spend thousands of dollars this past year when the likelihood of pregnancy was so slim.  I asked P, in her professional opinion, is it possible that having a crappy lining could have something to do with a girl who has had a total of 8 early miscarriages.  She nodded.  I almost cried.  This might really be it.  The answer I have needed for the last 4 years! 

The only teeny little catch is that I can't break up with my doctor yet.  P is going to be having a baby at the end of December and then taking maternity leave.  So today was like me and my new love planning how I was going to pack up my belongings and make a clean get away.  I am going to continue with my doctor for now.  If I am not pregnant by February, the Dear Doc letter will be sent.

I am so happy about this.  I always liked my doctor's personality but now, as I look back, he never really changed anything.  I still had miscarriages.  I still can't get pregnant.  The only thing that is different now is that we have a lot less money and no answers.  Now, in a matter of a couple of cycles, something is different.  Something has changed.  I give the credit to P.  She saw what wasn't working and fixed it.  I really feel like I can talk to her and that she is going to tell it to me straight.  She doesn't have the doctor ego thing and I really feel like she will fight for me.  I also don't think it hurts that she is a woman who knows the pain of a miscarriage.  She really is a sweet girl and while it is a little awkward to have an old friend poking around in my lady business, I'm glad that she had gotten me on the right path.  I am about as happy as a infertile girl could be!  Having hope is so powerful!

Onward to the egg info!

I have 3 perfect follicles!  Two at 20mm and a 24mm!  I triggered with 5,000 units of hCG instead of the 10,000.  I really think that my mental health is going to thank me for this.  Not having to deal with the, "Is this trigger or the real deal?" is going to be wonderful. 

I hope you all have a great week! 


Maria said...

3 follicles - amazing!! So happy to hear your dr is listening to you - it's awesome that you have the comfort of knowing her and being able to openly share all of your thoughts! I'm rooting for you, Maria!! Sending love! Xoxox

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