Today, I had a rare opportunity to meet with a friend and have coffee.  What is even stranger is that neither of us had our kids with us.  What do two grown women talk about when they don't have their kids?  We talk about our kids of course.  We did talk about so other stuff since she is pregnant and she is aware of our struggles.  But mostly, we talked about the kids. 

We talked about their colds, treatments we used, sleep issues, and brainstormed for solutions.  I think we could have chatted for another 2 hours but since I had to pick up Gavin at noon, we made our way to our cars.  As we were saying our goodbyes, I thanked her for the nice morning.  I explained that Gavin is going through "some things" and sometimes he makes me want to rip his cute little face off.  Her reaction was one of disbelief.  Not that she thought that I would really rip of that adorable, back talking, nasty attitude, and disrespectful little face off, but because she thought I was a "perfect parent".  Oh look!  A unicorn!

She explained that she pictured me very calmly telling Gavin to go to time out and that he would turn and quietly retire to his bedroom where after a couple of minutes we probably dealt with the issue and then returned to our activities with smiles and rainbows in the background.  I don't know where she gets that idea because I could go on for hours about the daily struggles I have and would have a list a mile and a half long of all of the things I should have done differently.  Since it is rare that anyone ever volunteers the stories about poor parenting, I am going to. 

A couple of days ago I was trying to get Gavin dressed for preschool, write my grocery list, and clean up our breakfast mess.  Then, just as I am about to zip up Joey's jacket I catch a whiff.  He always seems to find the best times to poop.  As I am trying to get Joey's shoes back off and take his jacket back off, Gavin picks up a balloon and starts swinging it around.  It wasn't a big deal but as he was swinging it the kid thought bubble appeared above his head and I saw the words scrolling across saying, "I'm am thinking about hitting my brother with this balloon.  I think that would be fun right now." 

So, I did the preemptive, "Be sure not to hit your brother with the balloon."

The balloon continued to be swung and Gavin didn't so much as acknowledge the fact that I spoke.  So, again, I say, "Gavin.  Do not hit your brother with that balloon!" 

Then, that thought bubble appeared again.  This time it read, "Hmm... What if I don't actually hit him with the balloon and I just graze the side of his head?"  Just as those words appeared his actions made the words come to life.  The balloon grazed Joey's head.  I was frantically trying to get us all out the door and I was so annoyed that Gavin was complicating things.  So, in an effort to make that issue disappear, I reached out with one hand, grabbed the balloon in my hand, and like a very mean clown, I popped that sucker with my fingers.  Not my finest moment. 

Any other "perfect parents" want to share their less than stellar mom moments?  




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