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God has blessed me tremendously with an amazing husband, Doug, and two gorgeous little boys, Gavin and Joey. It has always been a dream of mine to have a large family but God may have other plans. I had a series of 6 consecutive early miscarriages when trying for baby #2. We are currently trying for baby #3 after our 7th miscarriage. I am faithful that God's plan is perfect, even when I am not happy about it. I love comments and meeting new followers so please don't be shy!

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Monday, October 31, 2011

Just a Quick Update Post

I was hopeful this cycle.  I really was.  Then as the important and exciting days approached are are almost behind us, that hope is growing smaller and smaller.  Yesterday's test was almost impossible to see.  Some real squinter pros might be able to make it out but almost non-existent.  Then, I felt like peeing on a 5 dollar bill but since I didn't have any of those in the house, I decided to pee on a First Response test.  I got a light but clearly visibly line.  With nothing to compare it to, I realized it meant next to nothing. 

Last night as I was warming up under my covers, I started to get achy and uncomfortable.  It was about that time that I realized that if I was pregnant, I would have been asleep by then.  At about 4:00 am, our cute adorable and chronologically challenged dogs decided to want to go out.  Doug let them out but I decided to take my temperature, just because I was awake.  It was dismally low.  I knew that the temperature wasn't really valid but, it didn't look good.  Then, as I thought about how ugly my chart was going to look when I put that temperature in it, I felt something familiar.  That first cramp.  The first cramp that clearly signaled that my period wouldn't be all that far behind it. 

When I woke up, I temped again and the temp wasn't AS ugly but it was low and barely above my coverline.  Later in the morning, I had that urge to pee on another 5 dollar bill but again, hadn't been to an ATM so I peed on another First Response.  While the line was there, it is what I like to call a ghost squinter.  In fact, I'll be impressed if anyone can even see it on the picture.  It is so ghostly that it only can be seen in the right light and the camera seems to wash out any teeny bit of color there is. Plus, even if you can see it, I am feeling pretty confident that it is just that teeny bit of trigger shot left. 

I am feeling crampy, tired, and pretty much watching out my window for the evil AF (Aunt Flo) to crash my Hope Party.  Well.... There is always next month and I have to feel confident in at least one thing.  God is in control of this. 

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