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God has blessed me tremendously with an amazing husband, Doug, and two gorgeous little boys, Gavin and Joey. It has always been a dream of mine to have a large family but God may have other plans. I had a series of 6 consecutive early miscarriages when trying for baby #2. We are currently trying for baby #3 after our 7th miscarriage. I am faithful that God's plan is perfect, even when I am not happy about it. I love comments and meeting new followers so please don't be shy!

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Thursday, September 29, 2011

Patience or Lack Thereof

I have faith in Him and His plan.

I do, right?  The past few cycles I have been really trying to give myself a pep talk.  I have been trying so hard to think positively.  I have been wanting to always be finding the sunshine on the cloudiest of days.   But, sometimes it is hard.  I need to be rejoicing and thanking Him for everything He has blessed me with, instead of feeling like I am waiting for Him to bless me again.  Does that even make sense?  I am thankful.  I am blessed.  I am happy.  I am human, too.  I want another baby.

So what is faith anyway?  According to Wikipedia, faith is trust, hope and belief in the goodness, trustworthiness or reliability of a person, concept or entity.  I do trust, hope, and believe that God will bless me with another child.  I have that kind of faith.  But do I have the patience?  That is the part I am struggling with.  So today, instead of trying to figure out what God would want me to know about being patient, I am going to find out by reading His words. 

(Insert some very peaceful and pensive music while I go look at this site.)

Romans 5:1-4
Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:
By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.
And not only [so], but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;
And patience, experience; and experience, hope:

So maybe my infertility is about me building even more faith.  My tribulation is teaching me about patience (boy is it ever!), and I am gaining experience (maybe to share with others?) and with every month of "experience" I am getting just a little more hopeful.  I am getting closer to another child.  I am going to enjoy a pregnancy again.  I know it!

If anyone would like to share in the comments, scripture or quotes that help them stay positive, I would love to read them.  I could use some inspiration as I am waiting patiently for the "two week wait" to pass. 


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