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God has blessed me tremendously with an amazing husband, Doug, and two gorgeous little boys, Gavin and Joey. It has always been a dream of mine to have a large family but God may have other plans. I had a series of 6 consecutive early miscarriages when trying for baby #2. We are currently trying for baby #3 after our 7th miscarriage. I am faithful that God's plan is perfect, even when I am not happy about it. I love comments and meeting new followers so please don't be shy!

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Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Saying Goodbye

I have an aunt that used to drive me crazy. She insisted on hugs and kisses every time we said goodbye. Every time. Even if we were all leaving one place and all going to be meeting at a second place. I would always try to give a wave with a general, "See ya!" Never worked. She would, without warning, be planting a kiss, complete with a sticky lipstick print, and giving a full frontal tight hug. I would be saying to myself, "You have got to be kidding me. I am going to see you again in no more than 30 minutes! Is this really necessary?!"

After a visit to Grandma today, the goodbye routine sort of made sense. After visiting for about an hour, Gavin was showing signs that he was ready to go. Joey was getting fussy probably because of being hungry and the fact that the old people like to keep the thermostat set at 74 and then have the fireplace going on top of that. So, I packed up the boys' toys and things and reminded Gavin to give Grandma hugs and kisses. Then I did the same. I told her I loved her. I have noticed that in the last few months I have been saying it a little differently. Not just the typical, "I love you." I make eye contact and say the words with emphasis so that I hope she hears in my voice just how much I do love her. Then I picked up my stuff and headed out to the cool breathable air. As I walk to my car I force myself to think that there is a possibility that I just told Grandma goodbye for the last time. I am not trying to be morbid. Just honest. She is 98 years old and while one tends to think that people die after a battle with an illness or during a hospital stay, it is most likely that Grandma will pass away in her sleep. It could happen today. Next week. Maybe next year. Or maybe she will be around for another few years. But, just in case, I need to make sure I tell her how much I love her.

The truth is, just because she is 98 does put her at a higher risk of passing away before the next time I see her but any one of us could be living our last day. I am going to try to be more like my aunt. I don't know if this is why she insists on the hugs and kisses at every parting but it's not a bad thing to do. God may call us or a loved one home at any moment. I want to do my best to make sure that everyone knows how much I love them. It might be my last opportunity.

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