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God has blessed me tremendously with an amazing husband, Doug, and two gorgeous little boys, Gavin and Joey. It has always been a dream of mine to have a large family but God may have other plans. I had a series of 6 consecutive early miscarriages when trying for baby #2. We are currently trying for baby #3 after our 7th miscarriage. I am faithful that God's plan is perfect, even when I am not happy about it. I love comments and meeting new followers so please don't be shy!

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Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Mind Games

I think it is funny how whenever I am trying to get pregnant my mind plays these crazy games. There is a website,, that enables women to track their pregnancy (or possible pregnancy symptoms) from ovulation to their positive test. While this is a great deal of obsessive style fun, I have to think it is pretty comical. Some of the funnier ones are diarrhea, gas, and fatigue. Don't get me wrong. I am always tuned into my body waiting for any sign or symptom that I might get the two pink lines at the end of the month but, really? Gas, the runs, and being tired? Isn't this symptoms of eating really greasy pizza and chasing after a 3 year old and a 7 month old?

With Gavin the only symptom I has was that I had one teeny spot of blood when I wiped. I was not due for my period for at least 5 more days and history told me that when my period came, she showed up in full force. Spotting had not been a part of my vocabulary. So, at that moment, I knew that it was likely implantation spotting. Then the next night I was laying in bed and all of the sudden I realized that I could smell the air freshener in the bathroom. I couldn't just smell it, I could almost taste it.

When I was trying for my second child I payed a lot of attention to every twinge, pull, cramp, ache, pain, well.. you get the point. I was obsessed. I would check the site to see if it was a good sign. I would see how many other women reported the "symptom" and either become just a bit more hopeful or swear that I was just noticing something that most women wouldn't notice. The truth is, it is all just ridiculous. I had restless leg syndrome a few nights before my positive home pregnancy test. I had extreme thirst before another. I had cramping before, yet another. While this sounds like I had pregnancy symptoms, I failed to mention all of the pregnancy symptoms I had only to be greeted by my period knocking down my door. I had cramps, extreme thirst for nothing but water, gas, diarrhea, back pain, cramps, metallic taste in my mouth, again, you get the point.

Better yet, these are some of the symptoms on the list of "Most Common Early Pregnancy symptoms."

Acne breakout....................................Decrease in Acne
Dry mouth...........................................Increase in saliva

With these being symptoms, it is no wonder I swear I am pregnant every month! Even right this minute I am thinking about how thirsty I am but noticing how I have a lot of saliva. I am exhausted but probably couldn't sleep. Is that a zit? Maybe. Don't I usually have more zits that that?

I would love to hold an unscientific experiment. I would like to ask women who haven't ovulated yet and tell them that there is a possibility that they are pregnant. Then, give them a list of the 60 most common symptoms of pregnancy and have them record which ones they feel for two weeks. Something tells me that most of these women will write down about 20 symptoms. Even before they have ovulated. Of course, I will never be able to run this experiment but I challenge myself each month to do just this so that I can recognize how silly I am being when I think I must be pregnant because I farted 3 times on a Tuesday while thinking about salt and vinegar potato chips.

I really hope that I can get pregnant (and stay pregnant) so that I don't have to go through this waiting and wondering torture for very long. I must admit that since I have started this blog, I have managed to be much less obsessed with trying to get pregnant and staring at my chart waiting for it to telling me the future. But with that all said, I am going to go to countdown to pregnancy and see what symptoms are the most reported for 4 days past ovulation. Oh... the games my mind likes to play.


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