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God has blessed me tremendously with an amazing husband, Doug, and two gorgeous little boys, Gavin and Joey. It has always been a dream of mine to have a large family but God may have other plans. I had a series of 6 consecutive early miscarriages when trying for baby #2. We are currently trying for baby #3 after our 7th miscarriage. I am faithful that God's plan is perfect, even when I am not happy about it. I love comments and meeting new followers so please don't be shy!

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Monday, September 24, 2012

Pregnant for a Weekend

Yesterday I allowed myself to go there.  Just for a minute or two at a time.  I thought about the chance that I might get to see my belly grow and that at the beginning of summer I could be lounging in the sun with a newborn and two active little boys.  But then I would stop.  Thinking about that too much makes everything harder.

Today, I woke up and thought that maybe since my temperature hadn't dropped any lower, that maybe, just maybe, I was going to be the exception rather than the rule.  As I took a shower, I allowed my mind to wander again to what life might be like this winter with a round belly and snuggling up with my boys on cold snowy days while I nodded off for short naps.

After breakfast, I used another pregnancy test hoping that today was going to bring me a real line and hope for my daydreams to come true.  I waited and waited.  'Twas not meant to be.  Again.

I am okay.  I am hoping that the bleeding starts soon so that I can call the RE and talk about if we can proceed with IUI this cycle.   I am hopeful that this is going to help our next pregnancy have a much better outcome.   Plus, now that I will have at least 4 weeks to keep working my butt off to lose weight, I will break into the 100's this cycle.  I only have 3 pounds to go! 

Thank you all so much for all of the love and comments this weekend.  It really means the world to me. 


Maria said...

Oh Maria, I am so incredibly sorry!!
Going to write you an email.

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