I should start by saying that when I got the automated appointment reminder on Tuesday night, I almost cried.  I remember making the appointment last year and knowing (or thinking I knew) that that setting that appointment was really a technicality.  I was sure that I would have either given birth by this date in 2012 or I would be pregnant, at least!  So here I am 365 days later and I am no further than I was when I made that appointment.

May 2012

May 2011

These boys made each of those 365 days so bright though!





I took a deep breath, shaved my legs and off I went.   

The receptionist greeted me with an enthusiastic and welcoming smile.  Suddenly I wasn't feeling so awful about being there completely unpregnant.  I was called back and the nurse asked me the standard questions about heart disease and high blood pressure stuff.  When she asked about prescriptions, I mentioned that I have taken Clomid but it isn't an ongoing thing.  She asked me, "Is that something that you take only when you need it?"  It took me about 3 seconds to realize that she had zero clue about the whole world of infertility.  I gave my OB's nurse a crash course on infertility and infertility drugs. 

Finally after a long wait for the doctor to come in, in walked my favorite OB in the world.  My OB has one daughter who is a young teen.  She had a couple of miscarriages and decided to give up and be happy with the one she has.  So, she kinda gets it.  She gets me.  Then after a little cry (thank you fake HCG) my doctor explained something to me that makes so much sense!  Apparently 200 years ago, they believed that if a woman was educated it would cause blood to go to the woman's brain instead of going to her reproductive organs and would cause infertility.  Light bulb!  This completely explains the "Can I get pregnant if he put it in my ear?" posts.  They ARE more fertile, after all.  I am strongly considering spending my weekend watching all of the Jackass and Jim Carrey movies to see if it might help dumb me down so I can get pregnant! (If you know of any dumb movies please tell me in the comments.  I might turn this into a stupid experiment! LOL)



My OB went on to say that when she was doing her residency, her and her peers decided that the way to get pregnant was to get chlamydia and do a lot of drugs.  This is not an experiment I am willing to conduct.  

Back up to the front desk I go to schedule for next year.  The lady says, "Let's schedule you for next year and then if something pops up we'll deal with it then."

Because of my history of irregular PAPs, I thought that is what she was referring to.  So I quickly said, "I hope nothing pops up."

"You will have to talk to Doug about that!" she said.

"OH that!"  I hope that pops up!  We are trying for THAT!" I clarified.

Then, because I brought it up, the office staff all started chiming in with their experiences.  One woman said she had triplets and without even a pause I asked her to rub her uterus on me.  I did.  A woman I have never met before.  See what infertility has done to me?!  So then, while we are all giggling and sharing, their office phone rings and they exchange eye rolls and more giggles.  One of the women tells me that this woman has called 3 times today but promised that this would be the last time.  I can only hear one side of the conversation but no joke, I heard the words "be careful", "use condoms", and "No.  You can't use it if you ran over it with the vaccuum cleaner!"  I was confused and puzzled so someone clarified that they were talking about her birth control getting lost.   Nice.

So when she was done on the phone, I said, "Do you all want to know who is going to get pregnant before me?  That girl." gesturing toward the phone.



The only thing that stinks about this appointment is that it is going to make the decision to deliver with a midwife so much harder!  I love these ladies!

Cycle Update: I am 4 days past ovulation and 6 days past the trigger shot.  Hopefully by this time next week I will be able to share some news.  I just hope it is good news. 

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