Talking about sex has never been an easy topic for parents.  It is a little awkward to dance around the specifics, choose age appropriate vocabulary, and explain the "ins" and "out" of the whole... procedure.  Somehow in the past few decades, the parents tiptoed out the backdoor and relied upon schools to teach kids about their bodies and about sex.  The same teachers who can't discuss religion, faith, or God.  That is like having a baker teach a class on cupcakes without allowing them to use flour.

I remember having my first sex education class in 6th grade.  It was a few weeks long and was a couple of times a week we would meet with the most feared teacher in the school and she would explain the male and female anatomy and the menstrual cycle.  The last class or two we split into boys only and girls only groups.  That is where we were supposed to ask every last question we had.  The only problem is that we didn't really have any questions.  We would ask over and over again about if our periods would hurt.  The boys group would report back that all they asked about was "wet dreams". 

Then, in high school came round 2 of sex education.  This time it was only two 45 minute classes that took place in our freshman biology class.  My biology teacher was a very attractive, young man with piercing blue eyes.  He had us all put our desks in a circle and he talked about safe sex.  We sat stoically looking down at our desktops intermittently giggling as the teacher awkwardly demonstrated how to use a condom, shot spermicidal foam onto the floor in the middle of the circle of desks, and stumbled through a made up explanation to the courageous girl who asked how to remove a diaphragm.  It was an hour and 30 minus of time that I will never forget, but not for a good reason.

So, by the age of 14, I knew that women ovulated, got pregnant by a sperm, and how that sperm got there.  But what did it really mean?  Of course, I am sure it was mentioned that it is for people who are in love.  I am sure that it was recommended that we wait until we were married.  But a 14 year old girl or boy with hormones, peer pressure, and easily malleable hearts don't translate that language very well. 

A girl loves with everything she has.  She falls in love hard and completely even when she shouldn't.  So with the the explanation of, "Sex is for people who are in love," every teenage girl can say, "This is me!  I'm in love!  I will love him forever.  We will be married when we are older!  I am sure of it!  He is perfect and loves me back!  He tells me so all the time!"  She figures that she might not be married to him right now, but she will be soon!  Especially if she gives him the most wonderful gift she has.  Then, comes the crushing realization that she gave her precious gift to some guy who loves her only a little more than he does pizza.  Then it is gone.  It is devalued.  It is like driving a brand new car off the lot.  It will never ever be new again. 

Why is it that so many girls hand over the most wonderful gift, knowing full well that it can never be returned, but guys seem to get it when it comes to engagement rings.  They don't hand those out every time they "love" a girl.  Is a diamond ring really more valuable than a young lady's virginity?  More important than commands God gives us?   Plus, would any girl want a proposal from a guy that had proposed to every girl before her?  What if he got down on one knee and popped the question, "Will you marry me?" as he slides a lovely ring onto her finger that has been worn by 10 girls before her.  Somehow that takes the magic out of it.  It is time that young ladies recognize how valuable they are.  God created them with one very special gift that they get to give to one man, their husband.  To haphazardly give that gift to someone undeserving is very disrespectful to the one that created it. 

When it comes down to a guy choosing our daughter's for forever, don't you want her to be able to show him how special he is?  That she never ever, even when her hormones made her want to, she never gave anyone the same gift she will give him.  Just like the ring he slides on her finger will never have shimmered, shone, and glimmered on anyone else's finger.  I really wish that someone would have taught me how valuable I was when I was young.  I wish someone would have reminded me that having sex was much bigger than just giving in to temptation or not.  This rule is not optional when it comes to the Bible.

I will not be passing this mistake on to my children, no matter how awkward the conversation. 

Tweet