August 22, 2009, It was a beautiful late summer afternoon. My family drove in from NJ to be a part of one of the most important days of my life. At three o'clock that afternoon I became Mrs. Maria Briggs. I also became an instant mom. It was wonderful! My husband has three beautiful boys whom I adore. There is no greater love than that of a mother's for her children, but there is definitely something more here. We're a blended family and to make a bond is difficult but with faith and love we accomplished that. Of course like every newly wed couple we wanted to immediately add to our wonderful family. We were hoping it would happen while on our honeymoon. No such luck.

One of the happiest days of my life

  I was very honest with my husband about having PCOS and what that could mean for our fertility. He understood, he even did research on it; and so we continued to try, and try, and try.

August 2, 2011, It was again a late summer day. It was a Tuesday. I had been feeling “off” for a couple of weeks, and couldn't understand why. I had an extra HPT in my bathroom closet and being the addict that I am I immediately peed on it just out of sheer curiosity. The whole time I'm praying, please God let this be a positive, please, oh please. I found myself staring at it, for what seemed like an eternity. I saw the little box go from white, to one blue line, and then two blue lines! Yes two! It was light, but it was there! I was elated, thrilled, scared, in disbelief. I immediately called my husband, took a picture of it, sent it to his phone. We were thrilled! I prayed that night that this was it, that this was our one. Month after month of waiting, expecting, hoping this will be the one, can definitely take its toll on you, not only mentally, but physically as well, and mostly emotionally.

The elation didn't last. No it was too good to be true. On Wednesday I called to make an appointment at the OB/GYN. That same night I felt a cramp. My friend told me that it was normal. On Thursday I woke up, I thought I had wet myself, I rush to the bathroom, and I had bled through. That “cycle” was the longest I've ever had. I bled for 10 days. I didn't see a lot of clotting, but that was probably because I refused to look. I was just in total disbelief. When I called to cancel the appointment, the nurse or receptionist there told me, “Oh I guess it was a false positive, maybe it just wasn't meant to be this time, call us when you have another positive, but wait first in case you bleed again.” Yes I have been able to quote this word for word. Those words are etched into my brain. It was the coldest and meanest thing I had ever heard in my life. I prayed that I would get through this, that we would get through this. For the first time since my husband and I had been together, I found him praying. I knew then that this was important to him too. I knew that as long as we had faith in God and in each other that we would get through this together.

We had a long talk and decided to just stop thinking about it for a while. To just let it happen and if by the end of December, still no baby, we would make an appointment with a Reproductive Endocrinologist. Well December 2011 came and almost went. Another cycle another waiting period and nothing. I picked up the phone, sweaty, clammy hands, heart beating so fast I thought for sure it would come out of my chest, and dialed the number for the RE.

January 6, 2012 I find myself and my husband sitting in the RE's waiting room. I see a total of 5 pregnant women, all absolutely glowing, some of them showed some fear on their faces. All of them with their husbands or partners. I felt relieved for some reason. I finally got to see the wonderful RE and after talking for about an hour or so, and a brief exam, she ordered a battalion of tests. All of which I was more than happy to do. I find on on January 27^th. I am praying for news that will be helpful and productive an allowing us to complete our journey. We have the faith, and this family is waiting for that little angel to bless us even more.