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God has blessed me tremendously with an amazing husband, Doug, and two gorgeous little boys, Gavin and Joey. It has always been a dream of mine to have a large family but God may have other plans. I had a series of 6 consecutive early miscarriages when trying for baby #2. We are currently trying for baby #3 after our 7th miscarriage. I am faithful that God's plan is perfect, even when I am not happy about it. I love comments and meeting new followers so please don't be shy!

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Monday, September 26, 2011

Green Grass and Greener Grass

Almost a year ago, I was determined to get my body into shape before I destroyed it with another pregnancy.  When I started going to an exercise class, I was happy to learn that it was a month to month membership because I was positive that I would be pregnant after a few months.  I just wanted to drop 20 pounds and tighten up my gelatinous tummy.  Joke is on me 12 months later!  But, really, that is beside the point. 

The first day, I parked my truck and saw a group of men and women standing outside of the door.  Trying to be social, I climbed out of my truck and joined them.  From looking at the website O was prepared to see a bunch of meat heads and incredibly fit women working on toning their already flat and defined abs.  This crowd, that stood patiently waiting on the teacher to show up to open the building, looked to have an average age of 45 years old.  I was feeling instantly better about the environment.  To avoid awkward silence, I started asking questions.

There was a man and a woman that I will guess to be in their mid to late sixties, who had arrived together and were as sweet as apple pie.  They answered all of my questions, coached me along during my first class even when I was flopping around like a overturned beetle.  I wasn't too proud to take coaching, support and pointers from this nice old couple.  I was just happy they weren't making fun of me!  In my next classes, they always remembered my name, helped me get settled in, and even invited to me to a social get-together they were having that weekend.  Just the sweetest people.

In a town of less than 800 people it is not only likely, but probable, that you will run into people in town.  With this couple, I saw them at the grocery store together dressed as trendy and cute as I have seen any "older" couple.  They were in great shape.  You know, after a year of interactions, I began to think of them as representative of all old, sweet, wonderful, happy, healthy married couples. 

On Saturday, after the majority of the class had cleared out and I was heading for the door, my heart was unexpectedly broken.  A fellow exercise buddy, told me the saddest news I have heard in a long time.  The dear sweet couple had broken up and he had left her for another woman. 

I just don't understand this.  I think TV and movies have ruined us.  We are being slowly trained to think that love is fireworks, butterflies in our stomachs, and kisses that make our insides tingle.  Those things all feel good, don't get me wrong, but to expect that feeling every single day for the rest of our lives is just immature.  After we have enjoyed the falling in love phase, we are able to enjoy the other wonderful feelings of a relationship.  The comfortable courtship of two adults who love each other and are having fun planning and living the rest of their lives is .  Children are raised.  Laughter and laundry are the sounds and smells of the house.  Meals are shared, stories told, and cuddles exchanged.  Then, when the children are grown, the fireworks and tingles are long gone, so many think that they have fallen out of love.

Not the case.  We are just ready to move on to the next stage of love.  This is the stage that I most look forward to.  The part where we know that no other person in the whole wide world knows more about us than our spouse.  We know each others stories of before we met and the rest of lives we have experienced together.  He will be able to predict my responses, emotions, and desires without me even speaking.  I will be able to do the same for him.  We might be comfortably side by side in our recliners, him with a news paper (if they even still print them anymore) and me with lifetime movies playing around the clock, but we will be together.  We will be able to look at each other and know that this person has loved me through difficult moments, through 20 extra pounds, through the darkest hours and loves me despite it all.  He is the one who held my hand when I gave birth to our children.  To me, that is the fireworks I am looking forward to!

To leave a spouse for greener grass is cheating yourself out of the real deep love that God has made us capable of.  Anyone can get tingly and excited about a first kiss with someone new, but never will you be able to feel that real true connection to another human being.  That thrill of knowing that His Story and Her Story became Our Story. 

It just breaks my heart to see a couple feel like they are missing something when the truth is, what they are going to miss is far better than butterflies in their stomachs.  My thoughts and prayers are with this couple.  I pray they see what they will miss before it is too late.


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