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God has blessed me tremendously with an amazing husband, Doug, and two gorgeous little boys, Gavin and Joey. It has always been a dream of mine to have a large family but God may have other plans. I had a series of 6 consecutive early miscarriages when trying for baby #2. We are currently trying for baby #3 after our 7th miscarriage. I am faithful that God's plan is perfect, even when I am not happy about it. I love comments and meeting new followers so please don't be shy!

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Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Answers and Answered Prayers

I am not sure what I expected from today's appointment with the RE.  Doug had a semen analysis and I had my hormone levels checked last month.  I am not sure why I hesitated to schedule an appointment to get the results.  I think I was so hopeful that I would turn up pregnant and it wouldn't matter what the results were.  Well, no such luck, and I figured it was finally time to get some answers.  I waited patiently for 2 weeks to meet with the doctor this morning.

As I drove to the appointment, alone with my thoughts, I prayed.  I asked God to let me leave the appointment with a sense of peace, clarity, and positivity.  I got to the office and found myself in an empty waiting room thumbing through a women's fashion magazine.  I was amazingly at ease.  I really think that God was already acting on my prayers.  I was in the room wondering if brand X make-up could really make me look younger instead of perseverating on if I would never have more children.  I was peaceful.

Then, the doctor himself came to the door and greeted me in the waiting room.  After a cheerful exchange we went into the office to chat.  Considering the fact that he was about to reveal to me the fate of my family, I was still peaceful.  I sat, and before I even had a chance to take a full breath, he spilled the results out in front of me.

"You're both fine."

"Really?" I said, not really surprised but maybe a bit confused.

"Really.  Your hormone levels are all normal.  That at-home FSH tests (First Response in case any of you were curious) may have picked up on a weird cycle.  Unlikely.  It is possible it detected something else in your urine like if you were too close to ovulation it may have picked up the LH (not the case- it was CD3).  Then the third possibility is that it was just b*llsh*t."

Have I mentioned how much I like my doctor?

So, here we are with a year of trying under our belts and nothing to show for it.  But, that isn't exactly true.  I could look at this with annoyance and frustration at not having any real reason for our issues, or I can thank God for giving me time to grow even closer to Him, allowing me to meet and become friends with so many of you, and giving me more time to appreciate His perfect timing.

The next step?  Doug and I still have to talk about if we want to try Clomid or not.  This will be a decision we will make together in the coming days, weeks, months.

So that is it.  Nothing.  But, God has answered my prayers because I have a sense of peace, clarity, and positivity.  What prayers has He answered for you?


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