Anyone that watches TV has probably seen the ad campaign for a certain male... uh... assistance medication that says that the medication allows you to be ready for action whenever the mood strikes instead of taking a pill and being ready in an hour or however long it takes to have its effect. The commercials make me laugh every single time. I have decided to do a commercial vs. real life situation when it comes to getting frisky.

Commercial: Couple outside raking leaves. A leaf falls into the hair of the woman. Man gently plucks said leaf from her hair. There is a twinkle in her eye. Then the look that insinuates that they are going to have some private time and just as we are starting to feel like voyeurs, the deep voice warns us of all of the possible side effect including heart attack and stroke. Then, we see a very satisfied and happy couple walking hand in hand. Awww how fantastic!

Real version: Couple is outside raking leaves. Leaf falls into the woman's hair. Guy doesn't notice. Woman brushes said leaf from her own hair. Then after both are hot and sweaty from their yard work, the guy gives the woman a little playful pat on the butt. The woman demands to know why he just did that since she assumes that he is probably saving her from a mosquito or some other creepy crawly bug. When the man gives her the little nod and grin move, the woman, who feels incredibly grimy and dirty says, "Are you serious? Now? I feel disgusting. And you don't exactly smell yummy either. Maybe after we get cleaned up. Plus, I am really hungry. Lets get cleaned up and have some dinner. Maybe later tonight I'll feel more up to it. Plus, don't we have to go to the hardware store to get paint?"

Commercial: Man and woman are painting the interior of a house. After a little playful painting of each others noses, their eyes shine and without a doubt we know what they are planning on doing. The guy's voice warns us of the side effects as they show the couple heading to another off to another room. Sure makes painting look like a lot of fun!

Real version: Man and woman are painting the interior of a house. They paint all night long until they just can't take the fumes any longer. They shower, eat some carry out dinner and then complain about how badly their necks hurt from looking up at the walls. The woman reluctantly gives the man a back massage as they discuss their upcoming camping trip. They retire to their bedroom and fall asleep quickly.

Commercial: Man and woman are on a nature hike. They are walking hand in hand and flirting playfully. They reach a quaint clearing in the woods and then... the twinkle... the side effect guy... then the content smiles.

Real version: Man and woman are enjoying a nature hike. They come to a clearing in the woods and the man suggests that they have a bit of fun in the middle of nowhere. The woman says, "If by fun you mean you want to give me a once over checking me for ticks then that would be great. Not to mention, I am pretty sure that is poison ivy over there. Plus, between your bad back on this rough terrain and me not having the opportunity for a shower for another 24 hours, I'm not sure that would be a good idea. Plus, the campfire beans we had for lunch aren't exactly sitting well and I am a little preoccupied with finding a place to dig a hole. Maybe when we get home?"

Commercial: Man and woman are cleaning up after dinner. Woman is standing at the sink doing the dishes and the man saunters up behind her. She looks over her shoulder, makes eye contact, and manages to turn off the water while romantically kissing him. Voice over guy is again warning of the 200 side effects and then the satisfied smiles.

Real version: Woman is cleaning up after dinner. Man saunters up behind her. Without looking up from the baked on food she is scrubbing from the crockpot, she hands him a towel. The kids start asking what is for dessert, and reporting that they are still hungry despite refusing to eat a bite of their dinners. There is a pile of laundry taunting them from the corner of the room. They do the team approach and get the laundry done just in time to get the kids into the bathtub and into bed. Then, they wait for an hour or so to make sure the kids are asleep. By the time they are tiptoeing to their bedroom, the baby starts stirring. They agree that instead of risking waking the baby tonight, tomorrow might be a better day for getting frisky. Plus, they were both still recuperating from their camping trip last weekend.

Now, keep in mind that if the woman is ovulating and trying to conceive, any of these scenarios are completely likely. She will probably be willing to get frisky at any time, any place, without a shower, with GI distress, with a sink full of dishes, and with a baby crying. Maybe these drug companies should team up with the makers of ovulation tests. Now there is a commercial!