The wait is actually over but I made 14 days worth of activities to do during my wait.  Today's activity is to watch a TV show or movie about birth or pregnancy.   I am going to be watching the movie The Business of Being Born.  I have heard so much about it and have always wanted to see it so what a great excuse to finally see it!

The past few weeks we have been working with Gavin on sharing, since Joey is now reaching the age of wanting to be involved in real play.  So in honor of Gavin learning to take tuns and share his things, I'm going to share a DVD of this movie with one of you!   A great item for any couple who is expecting to have a baby in a few months or a few years! 

Also to sweeten the pot just a little, I am also going to be giving away 1/3 ounce of essential oil, a jar with diffuser reeds, and the carrier oil from Chapter One Herbs!  A complete set for some aromatherapy!  Not only do essential oils help to freshen a room, it does so in a natural, chemical free, and healthy way.  Why spray toxins into the air when you can do without and see a real benefit from the wonderful aromas?  The winner will be able to choose either Lavender or Ylang Ylang.
Most people know that Lavender can help stress and anxiety, but did you know that it can help with easing menstrual cramps?  What about helping the respiratory tract when you are congested from the cold or flu?  It is even toted as being an antidepressant!  So, if another cycle of trying to conceive has you in the dumps or if merely the stress and anxiety of the holidays leaves you feeling frazzled, this would be a wonderful choice for you!

Ylang Ylang essential oil is a perfect addition to your bedroom.  If you are trying to conceive, or just looking to keep things lively in the bedroom, Ylang Ylang is a all natural aphrodisiac!  Put this oil in a reed diffuser on a night stand, add some lingerie and maybe some soft music... and let it work it's magic!  This is a great thing to keep in mind for Valentines Day as it is not a traditional gift but a great gift for lovers! 

Enter today and share with your friends! 

Today on my While I Wait list I get to show some love to some of my favorite bloggers!  I have chosen some of my blogging friends who are trying to conceive and I am thrilled to be following their journey.


I am sure that I have shared this one before but Maria at Every Day is a Country Song has such a fun blog to read.  Every post warms the heart, tugs at a tear, and makes me like her just that much more.  She might be a bit of a crazy cat lady but I would have it any other way!


Megan at My Life as a Minister's Wife is another fantastic blog to read.  She has suffered losses, but has the faith of an army as she continues to try for her first baby.  Just this week, she wrote an amazing post that really spoke to me and I think you will like it too!


At Our Journey for  a Baby, she is often a woman of few words.  Interestingly enough, the words that she finds of value enough to share are valuable beyond words.  Ironic?  I think not. 

There are so many of you but instead of listing you all I will share more in my next TWW... if there is one.  I am still hanging around in Limboland unsure if the line on today's test is still from a trigger or if it is a real, honest to goodness, pregnancy.  Feeling kind of crampy and completely unsure.

Many of you know that I have been testing out my trigger shot using cheap internet dip strips.  It was fun the first time.  It had been so long since I had seen an positive test that it didn't even bother me that they weren't real.  That is until the end.  Right around the time I expected to see the lines get light or go away, the blasted things started taunting me and teasing me.  Sometimes a touch lighter, sometimes darker, and sometimes the same.  I also started using the name brand tests so that I wouldn't go crazy analyzing evap lines, ghost lines and squinters.  But what did I do... exactly what I was trying to avoid.  So today as I am about to close the book on this cycle with another lighter test, I thought I would share with you the craziness that I subjected myself to the past few days. (Clicking on the pictures will enlarge them.  You may have to then use your back button to come back to the page.)

8 DPO Can you see it?

Yea!  Looking darker!  Could this finally be it?

Uh oh.  I was hoping for darker.  Looks lighter... Ugh.

Only professional squinters need apply.  Losing almost all hope.

The past 18 cycles I have been handling the disappointment rather well.  This time I have been an emotional wreck.  I have spent way too much time on message boards and consulting with Dr. Google.  I am exhausted.  I just really wanted this to be the month.  I know that technically it isn't over until it is really over but I would just like to sleep until then. 

What do you think?  Can you see it?

Care to share any of your testing pictures or thoughts on testing early?  Feel free to link up blog posts below or tell me what you think in the comments. 

What do you do when the person you love has a broken heart? What do you do when it breaks again and again from miscarriage after miscarriage?

For the most part, men are less emotional creatures than women. I'm not suggesting more or less emotion is good or bad only that, using a big brush to paint this picture, men and women experience life differently. Like most men, I am a fixer. When there is a problem I want to fix it. I'll suggest a number of viable solutions to a problem in an effort to find the solution that best fixes the problem at hand.

But I can't fix a miscarriage. I can't keep a heart from breaking. I can't stop tears from falling.

Truth is I don't feel the same loss that my wife does. An early miscarriage means I have yet to see my wife's belly grow big or place my hand on her belly and feel the baby kick let alone touch or look at the baby. I don't yet have an emotional connection to the baby so my loss is very different than Maria's. But I do experience the loss. Mostly I experience it through Maria's tears and sunken face.

The best advice I have for husbands is to recognize that while we may not have a strong emotional connection with the baby our wives probably do and just because we can't fix the problem doesn't mean we should check out and not provide support and comfort to our hurting wives. Listen when your wife needs to talk and don't be afraid to ask how she is doing. I have learned that asking how she is doing tells her that you care about her and when she says "nothing" be sure to ask again.

My advice for the wives. Don't expect your husband to truly understand the extent of your pain. Chances are he doesn't. But know that if he had the power he would move heaven and earth to dry your tears and mend your heart.

My best advice for husbands and wives. There is nothing more important in this life than your relationship with Jesus Christ. Don't allow the pain of loss to cause separation you from your spouse. Instead use the adversity to grow closer to each other and lean even more on your Heavenly Father.

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Has you husband ever guest blogger for you? Link it up here!

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Today I am supposed to be creating something beautiful. Today was a really busy day with our family Christmas party and while I could have (and wish I would have) created a really nice looking to-go plate of food, here I sit. I have nothing for today's activity. So... rather than throw together something that I made in a hurry and without my head and heart in the right place, I am going to share some of the unique things that were created for my parents while they were on their cruise.  Each day, they would get fresh towels that were twisted and folded into the shape of animals. 





Pretty cool huh???  Hoping for some definitive results from my testing escapade this week.  Please keep the prayers and positive thoughts and vibes coming! 

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This morning as I was finally decorating my tree, I decided I had better look at my list of While I Wait activities and be thinking about what I was going to write.  Then I saw... Bake something.  So ironic that I needed to bake a pie for our family Christmas Party tomorrow!  My new favorite thing to bake is this amazingly delicious and super easy apple pie! I was a little intimidated when I made it for the first time for Thanksgiving since I have never in my life made a pie before.  To my surprise, I got raving reviews and it was even compared to my most wonderful Grandmother's apple pies!  So even if you are a novice, this pie is really easy to follow and will yield amazing results!

The first time I made this I doubled the recipe and it was very easy.  Just be sure that your bowls are big enough and you will have no problem making two pies! 


All American Apple Pie
Above is a link to the original recipe.  This one has some of my own tips and observations.  

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
2. To Make Crust: In a large bowl, mix together 1 1/2 cups flour, oil, milk, 1 1/2 teaspoons sugar and salt until evenly blended. Press mixture into a 9 inch pie pan, spreading the dough evenly over the bottom and up sides. Crimp edges of the dough around the perimeter.
3. To Make Filling: Mix together 3/4 cup sugar, 3 tablespoons flour, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Sprinkle over apples and toss to coat. Spread evenly in unbaked pie shell.
4. To Make Topping: Using a pastry cutter, mix together 1/2 cup flour, 1/2 cup sugar and butter in a large bowl until evenly distributed and crumbly in texture. Sprinkle over apples.  A bigger bowl makes it easier to work.  I learned this the hard way!  Also, a pastry cutter isn't mandatory but will make it 200 times easier!
5. Put pie in the oven on a cookie sheet to catch the juices that may spill over. Bake 45 minutes or until a toothpick pushed into an apple gives little resistance indicating the apples are cooked through.  

These pies are so good!  I couldn't wait until it was cooled to have some! 

Have you baked anything that you would like to share for people looking for inspiration for their "While I Wait" post? Link up your post below! I can't wait to see all of the scrumptious things you all have made!

Prayer is so important.  One of the things I have struggled with from the time I was a young girl is praying.  I mean, how do I talk to God?  I have always been taught my manners and showing respect to my elders, teachers, and authorities.  I often get tongue tied when I try to pray.  This is what my prayers often sound like in my head.

Dear God... wait.. is Dear God the start of a letter to God or a prayer?  Um... God.  That isn't any better.  I'm just going to go with Dear God.  Dear God, I want You to ... what I want is not always what I need... I want your will to be done in the lives of person X, Y, and Z but I am really hoping that it is your will to bless them with item A, B, or C.  And, then, if it is in Your will, wow... I feel like I am giving God a to-do list.  What should I really be praying for anyway?  I'm just going to skip to thanking Him for all of the wonderful things he has already blessed me with.  Thank you for my wonderful family, our health, and having food, drink and shelter.  Amen.

So today I am going to pray everything I want to pray for and recognize that God hears my edits so I may as well just talk to God and trust that He knows my intent and my desires. 

Thank you, God, for all of the wonderful gifts you have given me and my family.  I am so thankful for our health, the love that we share, the support that we give, and the lives that we live.  I know I need to do a better job of doing Your will and sharing my faith in You.  I really struggle with being a spoiled child and wanting what I want without regard for Your plan.  It isn't very Christlike for me to be like this.  I am sorry.

Since You are always with me, You know how much I want another child to come and join our family.  I feel confident that You will bless me with another child when Your timing is perfect.  I pray that You continue to help me find patience and understanding when Your plan doesn't make sense to me.  When I watch people experience such sadness and loss, I seek to better understand You and lean on You.   I need Your continued guidance and no matter how spoiled I act sometimes, I do know that Your will is what I need.  You have proven to me time and time again how Your plan is perfect and for this I thank You.  I am very much looking forward to seeing what You have planned for me next!  Amen

How do you pray?  Do you just let it all out there and speak your mind or do you try to me more organized?  If you have a link about prayer feel free to link it up below or simply share your thoughts in the comments section below. 



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