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- Maria
- God has blessed me tremendously with an amazing husband, Doug, and two gorgeous little boys, Gavin and Joey. It has always been a dream of mine to have a large family but God may have other plans. I had a series of 6 consecutive early miscarriages when trying for baby #2. We are currently trying for baby #3 after our 7th miscarriage. I am faithful that God's plan is perfect, even when I am not happy about it. I love comments and meeting new followers so please don't be shy!
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Showing posts with label two week wait. Show all posts
Showing posts with label two week wait. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Which Way?
I am in my 20th cycle of trying to conceive my 3rd child. You know, when I first started trying this time around, if you would have told me that I wouldn't be sporting a big round baby bump by now I would have laughed at you.
We tried 3 rounds of clomid with a trigger. Nothing good came of that unless you count a really emotional roller coaster of hope with long lingering HCG and false positives. I spent way too much time watching people get congratulated over and over again about how there would be no way for a trigger to be showing up 13 days later. I love being in the 1%... all the time.
So this is our first cycle of going au natural again. I was pleasantly surprised to see this on day 13.
Now fast forward to yesterday. I had a little dip in my temperature. Now, while to many who never charted, I might sound a little crazy, but when I am 7 days past ovulation and my temp does something a little erratic, I can't help but get a little hopeful. A dip can mean good things if the temp bounces back up. Last night I was so excited to see if my morning temperature was going to make me smile. Then, this morning, my temp did more than make me smile. It made me gasp. It jumped clear up to 99.0 degrees. That was almost a whole degree higher than yesterday. I thought for sure it couldn't be real. I took my temp again. 99.2 Then again about 30 minutes later. 99.1 Then an hour later. 99.1 Then this afternoon after going shopping, eating lunch, feeling healthy with the exception of a horrible headache. 99.1
I know that it could mean nothing. I know I could just be getting a touch of something. But here I am somewhere between..
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We tried 3 rounds of clomid with a trigger. Nothing good came of that unless you count a really emotional roller coaster of hope with long lingering HCG and false positives. I spent way too much time watching people get congratulated over and over again about how there would be no way for a trigger to be showing up 13 days later. I love being in the 1%... all the time.
So this is our first cycle of going au natural again. I was pleasantly surprised to see this on day 13.
I know that it could mean nothing. I know I could just be getting a touch of something. But here I am somewhere between..
and
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Then just to make matters worse, I have a horrible headache. I often get headaches when I don't get enough caffeine. Hello. My name is Maria and I am a caffeine addict. But today I have had a cup of coffee and a soda. I should not be going through withdrawal. Then this morning, as I wiped my nose, it started gushing blood. I get it. It is the middle of winter. The air is dry. Nosebleeds aren't unheard of for me. But why, oh why does it also have to be a potential pregnancy symptom?! Probably because no matter where I am in my cycle, I can always find this street...
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If you want to come and obsess with me, I can be found over at www.ttccommunity.com. Find me and friend me! I am Maria!
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Thursday, September 29, 2011
Patience or Lack Thereof
I have faith in Him and His plan.
I do, right? The past few cycles I have been really trying to give myself a pep talk. I have been trying so hard to think positively. I have been wanting to always be finding the sunshine on the cloudiest of days. But, sometimes it is hard. I need to be rejoicing and thanking Him for everything He has blessed me with, instead of feeling like I am waiting for Him to bless me again. Does that even make sense? I am thankful. I am blessed. I am happy. I am human, too. I want another baby.
So what is faith anyway? According to Wikipedia, faith is trust, hope and belief in the goodness, trustworthiness or reliability of a person, concept or entity. I do trust, hope, and believe that God will bless me with another child. I have that kind of faith. But do I have the patience? That is the part I am struggling with. So today, instead of trying to figure out what God would want me to know about being patient, I am going to find out by reading His words.
(Insert some very peaceful and pensive music while I go look at this site.)
Romans 5:1-4
Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.And not only [so], but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;And patience, experience; and experience, hope:
So maybe my infertility is about me building even more faith. My tribulation is teaching me about patience (boy is it ever!), and I am gaining experience (maybe to share with others?) and with every month of "experience" I am getting just a little more hopeful. I am getting closer to another child. I am going to enjoy a pregnancy again. I know it!
If anyone would like to share in the comments, scripture or quotes that help them stay positive, I would love to read them. I could use some inspiration as I am waiting patiently for the "two week wait" to pass.
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