Well... not 100 exactly but my weight, as of today, starts with a 1.  I can't remember the last time that was the case.  It certainly was before I had babies and maybe even before I was married!  Either way, I am excited!  Down a total of 27 pounds since June. 

A lot of people have asked me how I am losing weight so fast and I am going to tell you exactly what I am doing. 

1. I keep track of my calories.  Until June, I never paid any attention to calories or my portions.  I probably ate and drank enough for two people without even knowing it!   I found My Fitness Pal and learned that tracking my calories was actually easy.  I started reading labels of the crap I had been eating and started making better choices.  I am not eating cardboard and plain lettuce!  I eat normal food and I have eaten fast food at least once a week.  It is just a game of numbers!  I like to win so I watch those numbers!  If I eat a cheeseburger, then I have to be vigilant about what I eat the rest of the day.

2. I sweat.  Daily.   When I first decided to lose weight, I googled what the best exercise was to lose weight.  I found some stellar advice.  Turns out, the best exercise is the exercise you will do.  So, I bought a treadmill.  I had done other kinds of exercise over the years but I would always slack off when I thought that I might be pregnant for fear of causing some sort of complication or miscarriage.  So I decided that walking is something that I will do now and will keep doing through a pregnancy (perhaps less vigorous).  Everyday I walk for about 90 minutes.  The amount of calories I burn varies but it is usually around 750. 

3. I found motivation.  Most people would think that wanting to lose weight is motivation enough.  Thinking about being slim and looking good in fashionable clothes is really easy to do while watching TV and eating Doritos.  I used TV to motivate me.  I don't get much time to watch adult situation TV dramas and I figured out that I could do that using ear buds and either my phone or my husband's Kindle without young impressionable ears having any clue that I wasn't watching Blue's Clues.  I found a TV series that caught my attention and only was allowed to watch it while on the treadmill.  I loved how every episode would end with a bit of a cliff hanger so I would really look forward to my next workout.  I am now watching Lost and already getting concerned about what to watch next!  This might be tough to top!  I am completely open to any suggestions! 

That is really it!  I work hard for every pound I lose.  I would love to one day get to my goal weight of 150, but for now, I'll take it one cycle at a time.   For those that remember this post, I am getting closer to this!!! 


If you have any questions, ask me in the comments and I'll spill it.  I'm an open book! 

One of the strange things about trying to conceive is how it often feels like I am in some sort of time warped bubble.

I have a very normal cycle so I only have to wait about 12-14 days for ovulation.  Two weeks.  No big deal.  Then starts the two week wait which for me is closer to a 12 day wait to find out if I have to start all over again.  So, a total of 26 days.  That isn't a huge amount of time.  26 days is almost 4 weeks.   I know what you are thinking.  Whoa!  Check out her math skills.

Four weeks of a failed trying to conceive cycle means that someone that got pregnant last cycle, is now 8 weeks pregnant and likely heard a heartbeat.

Another failed cycle for me?  They are now celebrating the end of the grueling first trimester and enjoying a moment or two of relief.

Then 4 weeks later and another one lined test staring back at me, they are starting to stroke an emerging belly and eagerly anticipating those first kicks and rolls of baby.

I forge ahead and try try again.  No dice?  They are finding out the gender.

It really is simple math.  But why does this still feel so strange to me.  I think my brain wants the pregnant ladies should slow down their progress so that I can catch up.  While impossible, it would still make me feel better.

But in fairness, I should say that when I was pregnant, it was completely different.  I couldn't believe how long a week was.  Each week felt like a month.  Each day like a week.

I know I might be kind of babbling but I feel like the mother who looks at her child and wonders to herself, how on Earth did my kid start and finish high school.  Wasn't I just dropping him off at kindergarten?  But ask that same kid how long high school felt?  Forever.  It took forever.

I want to be in high school (minus the dramatic nonsense) is the bottom line.  I want my time to drag in anxious agony.  I want to cross each day off my calendar and smile because I am pregnant.

I should know if I get to watch time go in slow motion by Monday or Tuesday.  Keep the prayers and baby dust coming! 

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As I sat at a lovely dinner with great company this weekend, I was having an internal conversation.  (Yes, I talk to myself in my head... pretty much all the time.) I asked myself a hypothetical question and I would love to hear your thoughts.

Moms who are trying for more children (or plan to): If it was scientifically possible to pass your fertility to a childless woman, would you give up your ability to have another child if it meant letting a woman experience the miracle of motherhood?  If you have no children, would you accept that gift?  

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As many of you know, I was given the opportunity to review an OvaCue fertility monitor with vaginal sensor!  So many of you expressed an interest in a giveaway that I had to figure out how to make that happen.  Not only did I get you a giveaway, I did one better!  I managed to turn this into an even cooler giveaway event by inviting my dear friend Jayme at The Tater Twins to join me!  What does this mean?  This means TWO monitors are going to be sent out to TWO lucky winners!! 

There is a tiny twist that could make this really exciting!  If you share this giveaway with your friends, blog readers, or trying to conceive buddy groups and they use your email address* as who referred them, if they win, you do too!!  So not only do all of your entries count as a possibility to win, every single entry of each person that you send, also means an entry for you as well!  So spread the word!

In the event the winner was not referred by anyone, a second winner will be selected for the second monitor!

*The email address must match the one you use to enter via rafflecopter!!  

Things are looking up!  2012 is going to be a wonderful year!

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Original post date was 2/7/11
There was a time when I would go to a doctor when I had a health problem and I would just follow their instructions because, well, they are the doctors. They have letters after their name that is supposed to tell me that they know more than me, right? In the past few years I have changed my thinking on this.

I started charting my cycles when I wanted to conceive my first baby. Within a few weeks I really learned how amazing our bodies are and how much they really tell us on a day to day basis. When I got pregnant, I stopped charting (as anyone who charts will tell you to do once you get your positive pregnancy test) until a couple of months after I got my cycles back. Much to my surprise, I had another positive home pregnancy test with my first chart! When I went to the Emergency Room due to the spotting that had really turned more into bleeding, the doctor told me that I was 6 weeks pregnant. I told him that according to my ovulation, I should be about 6 weeks and 3 days. I know that measuring 3 days off on an early ultrasound is not cause for alarm but I thought it was worth mentioning. The doctor gave me a quick grin and told me that I couldn't really know when I ovulated. I told him that I had been charting and I did know when I ovulated according to my temperature, fertility signs, and ovulation pains that happen (for me) a couple of days leading up to my ovulation. He said, "Oh. Okay." in a way that clearly told me that he didn't believe me but wasn't going to debate it.

After my second loss I went in to see my doctor. I asked my OB about using Welcome Womb herbs to prevent miscarriage she dismissed my idea without further consideration. She did give me some line about how herbs aren't FDA regulated and therefore shouldn't be used since there haven't been studies (with government oversight) to determine what they actually do. So, her plan of action was going to be to run some tests when I got pregnant again, meaning beta hcg and progesterone. As most of you know, and I know now, running those tests doesn't keep anyone pregnant. The progesterone may be able to be improved if it is low but that wasn't going to tell me anything. Well, despite having doubling (just barely) hcg numbers and progesterone within normal limits, that pregnancy was lost as well.

After several more months of charts under my belt, and a couple more losses, I went to my OB armed with questions. I wanted to know why I was losing the pregnancies. This was the first time that when I wasn't satisfied with an answer, I continued to ask for more clarification, explanation, and information. After a few questions where my doctor couldn't answer to my satisfaction, she finally was willing to admit that she didn't know the answer. That was a major turning point in my relationship with my doctor. In a good way. Now, my doctor was nothing more that a woman a few years older than me who read some books in college that taught her what she knows. She and I just read different books. We began working together to figure out how to proceed. It was no longer me just nodding and wondering what I was going to do next. We were a team. A team that decided it was time to go to a specialist. A Reproductive Endocrinologist. With a name like that, I had to get some answers!

Well, I didn't. But again, I asked my questions and didn't stop until I was satisfied with his answers. I like Dr. Mooney, a lot, because he really took his time to talk, explain, and clarify and didn't seem to get a bruised ego if I questioned his opinions. Again, I developed a great relationship with my doctor because I refused to think of him as anything other than a guy who read different books than me.

I don't want anyone to think that I am not appreciative of doctors. I have a lot of respect for them since, I am sure, medical school isn't a piece of cake. I just wish that more people could recognize that doctors, while highly educated and skilled, are really just people. They lose their car keys, misplace their television remote, and burn dinner. They probably have cried themselves to sleep once. They have probably been an a car accident that was their own fault. I remind myself of this every time I walk into a doctor's office. I can't be intimidated by them and I can't assume they have all of the answers. I need to be able to communicate with them so that, together, we can solve whatever problem we have using both of our brains.

When I decided, with Dr. Mooney's knowledge and blessing, to try the Welcome Womb and went on to have a happy and healthy pregnancy, I couldn't help but wonder that if I hadn't just gracefully accepted my OB's opinion on herbs, if my whole life would have been different. I know that everything happens for a reason and that if I had tried the herbs and they had worked, I wouldn't have my dear sweet Joseph who is worth everything I went through. Still makes me wonder though.

I went to the RE today and we have:

Well, not these exactly but 2 follicles about ready to pop out 2 eggs!  One on the right and one on the left and both measuring just over 22.  My lining was 8.3 (I think) and the doctor said anything above 8 is good.  The nurse gave me the HCG shot and off I was sent to do some "intercoursing."  Seriously!  The doctor said for us "to intercourse." I have never heard this word used that way and I think I may have giggled out loud like an awkward school girl. 

Also I asked if I should be using Mucinex to thin things out.  I should explain that even after 5 years of charting, pregnancies, and message board conversations, I still get a bit of a weird feeling whenever I have to say the word mucus out loud.  I try skirting that actual word as much as possible even in reference to a cold.  It is just such a gross word with such unattractive visuals.  So, when I asked about the mucinex, I figured a quick, "It can't hurt."  or maybe a, "Absolutely!" but not this.  He went on to tell me, "If we put mucus of any kind, phlegm, cervical mucus, or snot, in a beaker and put mucinex on it it will no doubt thin it out.  Whether it will help you conceive or not?  Who knows."  Now, I have THAT image if mucus in a beaker.  Great. 

So... here I sit.  I am currently more pregnant than I have been in over a year thanks to the shot of HCG!  I am hopeful that the next two weeks go faster than the last two did. 

I have watched the show, I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant, a number of different times. I know I am not alone in the shock and awe that I have when I watch woman after woman tell their stories of having no clue that they were pregnant. I know that if women have an irregular cycle they might not suspect that they were late. I know that some women have periodic episodes of bleeding or spotting during pregnancy. But, really?! Nine months of no clue that there was a human growing inside of your womb?!

I blame this stupid TV show for my delusional thinking. Almost every cycle, when I see my temperature drop indicating that my period will be showing up, I ditch the thermometer for a while. There is no need for me to wake up every morning at the same time to take my temperature to remind me that I am just sitting around waiting to ovulate. Then, I wonder... Maybe I am one of those women. Maybe I really am pregnant! I have even been know to use a pregnancy test after my period, just to make sure. Because, really, if you really think about it, you can feel pregnancy symptoms no matter where you are in your cycle. Needless to say, about 12 seconds after using a test, I think about how ridiculous I am.

I love pregnancy too much to wish that I could not know I was pregnant for 9 months but I would love to not know I was pregnant for a few months. I would love to find out after the first trimester. Then, for me, I could feel like I was out of the woods. I could just sit back and enjoy the fun parts of pregnancy. But, sadly, this will never happen.

I love what charting has taught me. I love that since finding Taking Charge of Your Fertility, I have a much better idea as to what is happening inside of my body. I enjoy having a little understanding of the miraculous things God created our bodies to do. But, on the flip side, I will never not know these things. I will never be able to just let things happen. I will always know in the back of my mind, temperatures or no temperatures, if and when I have ovulated. I will know when I am fertile. I will know when I am not. And, the most difficult for me right now is that I will always know when I am not pregnant.

Again, I love what I know, but I am a bit envious of women who are blissfully unaware. I just feel like knowing one's fertility is like riding a bike. I know it and will never be able to forget.

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