I think I am a passive control freak.  I know that I just made that term up but it is the only way I can describe it.  I don't care to control things.  I just want to know that I could control things if I wanted to.  Does that make sense?  Kind of like choosing a restaurant for dinner.  I don't care where we go, but if I did care, I want to know that I could make that decision. 

That is why the two week wait (the two weeks between ovulation and when the highly undesired period starts) is just awful.  I don't get to choose anything.  I can say that I am going to ignore any cramp, twinge, headache, and possible symptom of pregnancy, but who am I kidding?  I can't ignore this stuff.  I may want to, but I have no control over those thoughts, however fleeting.  I am powerless to avoid them.

In an effort to crowd out these prominent and sometimes obsessive thoughts, I have come up with a plan.  I have made a list of 14 things to do while I wait.  If you want to join in the fun, please do!  At the end of each post I will have an opportunity to link up your blog post. I'll leave the linkies open for as long as they will let me (probably a year).  I will make a tab at the top of the page for these posts so others can easily find them and play along!  If you do not blog and you want to participate, share what you did in the comments of each post.





<a href="http://lifelossandotherthings.blogspot.com/2011/12/while-i-wait.html" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglZ76ooSi-ja7OezdPG_d3IzLa_mswnVF0_5WnO1bpV7-z2MsIoqKbzRSdZCh9Nt2S3-Lhxs-C5jFJw1_1yzwTy4iEce2me9Udjv1_REn4Uw7Li5M7iXsV0oCswySWAe2nenzroYXEiEn8/s320/sunrise%252520006.JPG" width="320" /></a>

1. Plant a seed. Have a left over packet of seeds from planting a garden or flower bed?  What about a beans you can sprout?  Find anything that is little that can grow into something big and beautiful!  Plant it and wait to see if that little miracle will grow. 
2. Play with pictures- Ever see those shows where they show a picture of two celebs and show what their baby would look like "if they made it?" Do this but with you and your husband's face.  Have kids?  Maybe you can use their face as a template. If you don't have photo software to do this, use this site.  Easy and fun! www.makemebabies.com/
3. Write your birth plan. No better time than the present!  Whether you are hoping for your first or your last, writing out how you envision your delivery going can be a wonderful way to get into the best state of mind for the arrival of your sweet little one. 
4. Write a letter to your womb- Maybe a pep talk is in order.  Bribery isn't out of line either.  Okay Womb, time to put on your listening ears. 
5. Make some music.  Change the lyrics to a familiar tune to a song about fertility. Feeling festive?  Christmas songs about fertility could be a really fun time! 
6. Do something nice for a pregnant friend or relative.  It doesn't have to be anything big or expensive.  Just something that makes your heart feel warm.
7. Say a prayer. After all, it isn't up to us.  Ask Him for what we need and what He needs from us!
8. Bake something. Maybe something yummy that can be saved for PMS cravings... or pregnancy cravings!
9. Create something beautiful. A craft? A photograph?  A painting or drawing?  The options are endless. 
10. A guest post from your husband. Ask your husband to guest post and write his thoughts on family, trying to conceive, infertility, and/or loss.  He might say no.  LOL  If so, tell him you are going to write a completely fabricated story about him doing the Macarena in his skivvies on your second date or something equally as fun!
11. Time to test? Write a post about testing early and why it is good, bad, or just an addiction you don't care to seek treatment for.
12. Share the love! Write a shout out post where you link to a few of your favorite TTCers, IFers, or other blogs that you love!
13. Show time! Watch a show or movie about pregnancy, childbirth, or family and cry your eyes out.
14. Write a letter to Aunt Flo. No need to be nice.  Maybe you can convince her that she needs to give you about a year long break from her.  "It's not me.  It's you." 

I am still waiting to ovulate.   I had a 19mm follicle and a 21 mm follicle that was triggered yesterday morning!  Once I confirm that I ovulated I will start with my posts!  This is going to be a busy couple of blogging weeks!  I hope you'll join in the fun when you are waiting to pee on things whenever that is!  You don't need to do all of the posts to participate.  After all, it only takes one, right?  Just copy the code under the While I Wait button and put it somewhere on your post.  Then, link up your post!   

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I promise that I am not going to try to revive the outrage over Facebook changes.  The dust has finally settled and I am finally coming to grips with the new look.  One of the changes that I am still bothered by is that anytime I comment, like, or otherwise interact with a facebook page it announces it on the mini feed thing.  Most of the time it isn't a huge deal but what if I want to comment on someone's infertility page about the consistency of their cervical mucus?  What if I want to know if someone has taken a pregnancy test and don't want to blow their facebook cover?  What if I need opinions on a pregnancy test, ovulation test, or other TTC or IF related issue?  The last thing I need is all of my relatives all over the US to be privy to my pee sticks. 

My solution?  I will still be posting things on my Life, Loss, and Other Things facebook page but recognize that most of you want to keep things hush hush.  So, I have decided that I will be starting a secret group on Facebook.  It will not really be a LLAOTWM group although I am going to be an admin.  But I will be me.  The real me.  The "I have a real first name, maiden name, and last name" and so do you.  I invite you to be a part of this group to make statuses that say what you are really thinking.  Instead of talking about errands, complaining about work, or a crappy night of sleep we can talk about our excitement over a squinter, the possibility of an early ovulation, tingly boobies, and the abundant CM that we aren't interested in sharing with everyone we went to high school with!  Because, if you are anything like me, these are our real statuses when trying to conceive! 

The only tricky part of being in a secret group is that you won't be able to find it or join it without an invitation.  The plus side is that all pictures, posts, comments, and activity is never on your public profile or wall or feed.   If you are trying to conceive, managing infertility, or even needing support while trying after a loss, this group is for you!  Let's team up and see some bumps produced!  Email me from the email account associated with your facebook page and I will invite you. 

I think this is going to be fun!  

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Many months ago I talked about how little we know about the various chemicals that we breath, eat, wear, and otherwise consume in our daily lives might impact our lives and health.  Then, this article pointed out something even more troublesome to me.  There are a number of companies that have chemicals in their cleaning products that have known health concerns.  When I say health concerns I mean serious health concerns including cancer!  Then, lets talk about the rates of miscarriages and infertility and how they only seem to grow.  Maybe it has something to do with the fact that many of the cleansers contain ingredients that cause hormone disruption, pregnancy complications, and reproductive harm.

Think you are safe if you buy only "green" or "natural" cleansers?  Nope.  Several of the products that tote themselves as being green and natural products have these concern causing chemicals too!  Now, do you want another kick in your healthy green pants?  These cleansers do not list these chemicals as part of the ingredients!  They are in there but not listed!  How is this possible?  Most likely companies are only listing active ingredients and these offenders aren't active, I suppose.

Please see this fact sheet about reproductive harm and household cleaners.  This is a great page in that it points out the product types that are the most problematic. There is also a list of specific products so you can check your cabinets! 

Since we are going to go chemical free soon, I have been looking for a good recipe for a homemade laundry detergent.  It seems that most recipes that I find call for ivory soap or something similar.  While it doesn't contain any real known troublemakers, I want to minimize all chemicals as much as possible.  Anyone make their own laundry detergent?  Do you mind sharing your recipe?  Is the Ivory Soap (or Fels Naptha, or ZOTE) my only options or is there a more "pure" soap?

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Things are looking up!  2012 is going to be a wonderful year!

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I have been on a cleaning and organizing rampage.  I wish I could say it was nesting but seeing as how I am not pregnant well just say that is is directly related to how many episodes of Hoarders I have watched in the last month.  But this weekend, the chore has been my kitchen drawers.  While most of us will admit to having one junk drawer, sadly I had two.  While cleaning, throwing out and organizing I came across several items that I have no clue what they are.  I figure they must have a purpose otherwise I wouldn't have put them in my very important junk drawer, right?  But, I need your help!  What ARE they?!


Item #1

Item #2

Item #3




I'd love all of your thoughts!  Serious, funny, completely random guesses... anything! 

There is no greater moment than when you get that second line on a pregnancy test.  Your heart jumps, your mind races to thoughts of names and genders, and you start planning your nursery!  And then, there is the others.  These are the people who like the two lined test, and while they have instantaneously fallen in love with the new life within them, they are skeptics.

Whether it is because you have a history of losses or an undying love for peeing on things (I'm guilty of both), one test is never enough.  Even if you have the big bold word pregnant staring back at you, it isn't real confirmation.  Women all over the world have figured out that there is a such thing as just a little bit pregnant, a little more pregnant, and super pregnant.  All of these determinations are made by the darkness of a little pink, or sometimes blue, line.   Then, when we have peed on a couple of different tests we do the line up.  Are they darker?  Am I a little more pregnant, a little less pregnant?  Am I going to miscarry?  Are you ready for some answers? 

Should pregnancy test lines get darker?
The short answer is yes.  A pregnancy test is designed to test for the presence of HCG in your urine.  I am sure it comes as no surprise that the more HCG you have in your urine will determine how dark the line on the test is.

My line isn't any darker.  Am I miscarrying?
There are a number of things that could impact results of any one individual test result.  First is diluted urine.  The amount of liquid you have consumed in the hours preceding a test can affect the results of a pregnancy test.  In addition, caffeine consumption and salt intake can also alter the concentration of the HCG in your urine.  Another thing to consider is that not every test is created equal.  Minute differences, such as the amount of dye in each particular test, can vary.  This, of course, will affect how dark either the test or control line will appear.  Also, any one test only has a certain and finite amount of dye in it.  While our HCG is doubling every 48 hours, the dye in the test can't continue to get twice as dark otherwise it would run out of dye in a hurry.  If you have ever done the experiment with a piece of paper and folding it in half over an over again, no matter how big the piece of paper, it can only be folded in half 8 times.  Same concept.  So even if your HCG is rising adequately, the line may only be slightly (or very very slightly) darker. 

I realize that testing at home isn't going to tell me anything scientific but I want to test anyway.  Any tips?
There are a few things you can do to help you keep your sanity when scrutinizing home pregnancy test lines.

1. Test no more frequently than once a day.  Any more than that and you will drive yourself crazy and waste a ton of money and tests!
2. Test at the same time of day or use the same "pee of the day."  If you test with your first pee of the day then be consistent.  Personally, I prefer to use my second pee of the day.  It has seemed to give me better and darker results than my first morning urine.  
3. Tests tend to get darker as they dry.  I have seen too many women (myself included) cry buckets of tears because their test today isn't as dark as yesterdays.  That is because yesterday's test is dry!  Take pictures of your tests 10 minutes after peeing on them or dipping them and compare pictures side by side.  Also, whenever possible try to use the same background for you picture (i.e. same bathroom counter, paper towel, flooring, etc.) and from approximately the same distance.  That is a much more accurate representation of if the line is darker.

I have done what you suggested and my lines don't seem to be progressing.  This doesn't look good, does it?
Well, maybe.  Maybe not.  Because there are so many variables with pregnancy tests the only way to get a real, scientific, and most accurate picture of what is going on in there is a blood test.  Call your healthcare professional and ask them if they will order a HCG beta series.  You can explain that you are concerned that this pregnancy isn't progressing and the blood tests could really help put your mind at ease one way or the other.  This doesn't guarantee that they will order the tests but it is worth it to ask.  If they do order the tests, please keep in mind that one test doesn't mean a whole lot.  It is the second test that tells you if things are headed in the right direction.

I am cramping and spotting and my lines don't seem to be getting any darker?  What do I do?  
Please see this post where I explain in detail what you should do if you are spotting or bleeding during an early pregnancy. 




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